Finallys

I started a post on the date above and saved it as a draft. Then I didn't touch this thing until late September. I came back and erased what I had saved in that draft and instead wrote what you see in this post. So this did not happen in July, but the date should be September 29, 2006. But I don't know how to change that or if I even can.
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September 29, 2006

I cleaned my bathroom last week. It was a chore but I did it. I was hoping it would have propelled me into cleaning my room but that hasn't happened yet.

I did finally send my Netflix DVDs back in the mail. They've been sitting around since June, I believe.

I finally deposited a check a friend of mine wrote for me... back in April. I finally sent Amanda and Mike my wedding invitation response postcard. It will probably get to them on the deadline for the RSVPs. I put my Cingular bill check in the mail today. So that bill will be paid on time for the first time in probably a year. I'm late fees McGee.

I have a habit of not going to the grocery store for things I need and instead going to restaurants for food. Yesterday I went to Jewel finally. There is something I love about it, you'd think I'd do it all the time. What I love to do is to show up listening to kick ass songs on my iPod while I power grocery shop. I walk with purpose from aisle to aisle as I pick up things on my mental grocery list. I casually people watch but I'm watching them from behind a glass wall while Belle & Sebastian dances in my ear.

Then I stand in line for the self check out express registers. I'm a pro at these things. I scan my things on the first try. I bag my stuff like an expert bagger. I swipe my debit card and enter my PIN and within seconds I've got my extra cash and receipt in hand. Then like a tiger after a gazelle I'm out of that crowded Lakeview meat market. I feel so adult. So mature. I've got groceries. Yeah, I'll make my own dinner. Sure, it's just a PB and honey sandwich or a bowl of cereal, but God dammit, I made it. I love it.

On the other side, I have been checking out the Onion personals A LOT more than usual. Way too much. I put new pictures of myself all over it (same with Friendster and MySpace) and I'm obsessed with seeing if these pictures create more interest in me with the ladies. There have been more hits but so far the 1 "letter" I sent a lady who viewed my profile has yet to be replied to. Ah well. Of note is that "Lost Cause" by Beck is playing right now. How fitting. My latest fanasty is to have some non-improviser lady approach me and tell me she thinks I'm funny after seeing a show of mine. Then we hit it off and start dating. The fantasies never include me being the one to approach them. I should probably start to incorporate that into them. Or, better yet, stop the daydreaming and actually be proactive and when I'm talking to a girl I like actually vocalize it. I'm such a socially inept dude.

I successfully went through August without having any alcohol. The first couple of weeks of September I hardly had any beers. I think the first alcoholic drink I had this month was wine. Yes, that's right, during my friend's birthday fun time in the suburbs. Man that was a lot of fun.

I've fallen into growing a beard. It started out of laziness. Then I was going to visit my parents. I wanted them to see me with some facial hair so i didn't shave. By the time I got back I just felt like trying to see how growing a beard goes. But this time, actually giving it time to grow. Instead of getting sick of it after two weeks and shaving it off. "Wild Horses" by the Stones is playing right now. How appropriate.

I was looking at some lady's profile off of Friendster and there's this one photo of her in a car with the sunlight hitting her hair in this certain way that kind of highlights the hair from the back, giving it a kind of bright outline if you will. The lady is of no importance, because she's taken, but the reason I'm mentioning this light effect is because it is so beautiful. In fact, ladies' hairdos in general fascinate me. When I'm riding the L, sitting down and a lady happens to be seated in front of me, I usually find myself in focused study of the back of her hairdo. I like the way the hairs are either combed or pinned or tossled. Show me a picture of a girl with her face partially blocked in a sexy way by her hair and I'm in heaven. Last year when I was in those couple of relationships, what I particularly loved about cuddling was being able to run my hands through their hair. It's soothing.

I just realized that it's just like petting a cat that's on your lap. Hmmmm. I don't know what that says about me or if it's a good realization or not. Perhaps it just means I'm a cat person. Or maybe just the general sensation of hair through my fingers is pleasing. Like Amelie with her love of putting her hands into a pile of stones. "Corcovado (Quiet Night of Quiet Star)" by Astrud Gilberto is playing right now. How lovely.

I'm directing Sketchcore in their next sketch show, which goes up in about three weeks. It's a lot of work with even more work to do in the coming weeks. It's challenging and fun at the same time. Although I feel like I've been in a personal improv funk in the past month or so, I've had two separate occasions where people have said they wanted to do a side project with me and that's great. I'll have time to do so come November. Coaching Skeleton Attack is a joy and I'm really proud of how good they all are. Great scenework's happening in rehearsals.

Not this weekend but next weekend I'll be at a wedding for a teammate and I want to buy a kick ass suit. Something that evokes the slick and cool style of London, like something from Trainspotting. My partner in crime at work has moved over to a different job within the company, which is great for him but lonely for me. I get a new partner tomorrow and I'm dreading it. Work load-wise it will be great, but I'm expecting this new dude to not fit at all and leave soon after. I'm hoping for the best but I wont' hold my breath.

This past month has been baby steps for me in getting my act together. That's nice. Finally.