I started a post on the date above and saved it as a draft. Then I didn't touch this thing until late September. I came back and erased what I had saved in that draft and instead wrote what you see in this post. So this did not happen in July, but the date should be September 29, 2006. But I don't know how to change that or if I even can.
---
September 29, 2006
I cleaned my bathroom last week. It was a chore but I did it. I was hoping it would have propelled me into cleaning my room but that hasn't happened yet.
I did finally send my Netflix DVDs back in the mail. They've been sitting around since June, I believe.
I finally deposited a check a friend of mine wrote for me... back in April. I finally sent Amanda and Mike my wedding invitation response postcard. It will probably get to them on the deadline for the RSVPs. I put my Cingular bill check in the mail today. So that bill will be paid on time for the first time in probably a year. I'm late fees McGee.
I have a habit of not going to the grocery store for things I need and instead going to restaurants for food. Yesterday I went to Jewel finally. There is something I love about it, you'd think I'd do it all the time. What I love to do is to show up listening to kick ass songs on my iPod while I power grocery shop. I walk with purpose from aisle to aisle as I pick up things on my mental grocery list. I casually people watch but I'm watching them from behind a glass wall while Belle & Sebastian dances in my ear.
Then I stand in line for the self check out express registers. I'm a pro at these things. I scan my things on the first try. I bag my stuff like an expert bagger. I swipe my debit card and enter my PIN and within seconds I've got my extra cash and receipt in hand. Then like a tiger after a gazelle I'm out of that crowded Lakeview meat market. I feel so adult. So mature. I've got groceries. Yeah, I'll make my own dinner. Sure, it's just a PB and honey sandwich or a bowl of cereal, but God dammit, I made it. I love it.
On the other side, I have been checking out the Onion personals A LOT more than usual. Way too much. I put new pictures of myself all over it (same with Friendster and MySpace) and I'm obsessed with seeing if these pictures create more interest in me with the ladies. There have been more hits but so far the 1 "letter" I sent a lady who viewed my profile has yet to be replied to. Ah well. Of note is that "Lost Cause" by Beck is playing right now. How fitting. My latest fanasty is to have some non-improviser lady approach me and tell me she thinks I'm funny after seeing a show of mine. Then we hit it off and start dating. The fantasies never include me being the one to approach them. I should probably start to incorporate that into them. Or, better yet, stop the daydreaming and actually be proactive and when I'm talking to a girl I like actually vocalize it. I'm such a socially inept dude.
I successfully went through August without having any alcohol. The first couple of weeks of September I hardly had any beers. I think the first alcoholic drink I had this month was wine. Yes, that's right, during my friend's birthday fun time in the suburbs. Man that was a lot of fun.
I've fallen into growing a beard. It started out of laziness. Then I was going to visit my parents. I wanted them to see me with some facial hair so i didn't shave. By the time I got back I just felt like trying to see how growing a beard goes. But this time, actually giving it time to grow. Instead of getting sick of it after two weeks and shaving it off. "Wild Horses" by the Stones is playing right now. How appropriate.
I was looking at some lady's profile off of Friendster and there's this one photo of her in a car with the sunlight hitting her hair in this certain way that kind of highlights the hair from the back, giving it a kind of bright outline if you will. The lady is of no importance, because she's taken, but the reason I'm mentioning this light effect is because it is so beautiful. In fact, ladies' hairdos in general fascinate me. When I'm riding the L, sitting down and a lady happens to be seated in front of me, I usually find myself in focused study of the back of her hairdo. I like the way the hairs are either combed or pinned or tossled. Show me a picture of a girl with her face partially blocked in a sexy way by her hair and I'm in heaven. Last year when I was in those couple of relationships, what I particularly loved about cuddling was being able to run my hands through their hair. It's soothing.
I just realized that it's just like petting a cat that's on your lap. Hmmmm. I don't know what that says about me or if it's a good realization or not. Perhaps it just means I'm a cat person. Or maybe just the general sensation of hair through my fingers is pleasing. Like Amelie with her love of putting her hands into a pile of stones. "Corcovado (Quiet Night of Quiet Star)" by Astrud Gilberto is playing right now. How lovely.
I'm directing Sketchcore in their next sketch show, which goes up in about three weeks. It's a lot of work with even more work to do in the coming weeks. It's challenging and fun at the same time. Although I feel like I've been in a personal improv funk in the past month or so, I've had two separate occasions where people have said they wanted to do a side project with me and that's great. I'll have time to do so come November. Coaching Skeleton Attack is a joy and I'm really proud of how good they all are. Great scenework's happening in rehearsals.
Not this weekend but next weekend I'll be at a wedding for a teammate and I want to buy a kick ass suit. Something that evokes the slick and cool style of London, like something from Trainspotting. My partner in crime at work has moved over to a different job within the company, which is great for him but lonely for me. I get a new partner tomorrow and I'm dreading it. Work load-wise it will be great, but I'm expecting this new dude to not fit at all and leave soon after. I'm hoping for the best but I wont' hold my breath.
This past month has been baby steps for me in getting my act together. That's nice. Finally.
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
Friday, July 21, 2006
What? No Improv This Weekend?
The team I coach has moved their rehearsals from Sunday to Tuesday. And neither of the team I'm on has a show this weekend. This means I have no improv obligations.
So I'll have time to clean my room, right? Probably but knowing myself I still won't get anything done.
---
Last night I was talking to friends about blogging in general. We agreed that blogging is about the most self-absorbed things a person can do. It's all Me, Me, Me, all of the time. The blogs that I like to read, which are very few, are usually of people I know. That and they have a certain point of view or theme or gimmick that makes me continue to keep on reading. Example: A Year of Pictures After the Breakup, the blog I mentioned earlier. My friend ladym also has a blog that documents her life post break-up. My best friend Matt kept 2 blogs once; the first post break-up and the second a travel blog of his adventures in Europe. My friend Sarah kept a travel blog when she went to China. There are probably another dozen or two of improvisers that keep a blog.
For me, I love the ones that I brutally honest. The kind that make me question whether I should be reading this because it is almost too vulnerable. I admire the courage to be that honest in the blogosphere. I almost wish I could be that honest. But I can't be as open as I wish to. I guess it's egotistical but a lot of the time I feel like I'm being watched. Not like I'm being watched by the government, but like I feel like I always have some sort of audience.
I like gossiping... a lot. Check that. I like hearing gossip. I'm a pretty good keeper of secrets and for the most part, especially when I know something was told to me in confidence, I don't spread gossip around. But I'm usually the last to hear anything. People dont' seem to view me as their sound board or go-to person for personal shit. That's great because I'm not a constant dumping ground, but at that same time it makes it seem like I live in a vaccuum.
I would say that currently it does feel at times like all my close friends have moved away. Or that my friends that I felt comfortable being really honest to have become too busy for conversations. So I do feel like my life is lacking real connections. I want to connect with people but you can't force it. And this is just aggravated by how slow I am to make new friends.
But I still feel the need to unload all of these things waying on my mind. I could dump it into this blog. But it would be like tossing coins into a wishing fountain. I need another human being to connect with. Which really fuels my desire to find a love with whom I can be completely honest. This makes me long for which I do not have and then I start getting sad about the things I don't have instead of relishing the things that I do have. Thus the seemingly never-ending cycle of infinite melancholy.
---
I used my new air pump on my bike yesterday. It was fun to do in a total cheese ball way. My pump has an air pressure gauge on it. My road bike tires need to be between 115 and 125 psi. At about 100psi is when it gets really difficult to pump any more air into the tire. Man do I need to get stronger. I should start doing sit-ups and push-ups since they are easy to do in that I can do them anywhere any they wouldn't take up too much of my free time. Maybe later I can then add pull-ups to complete the "-Ups" family.
I bought a Sunday pass for the upcoming Pitchfork Festival. I'm looking forward to it. Then a week or so after that is Lallapalooza [spelling is probably wrong]. Yay outdoor music fests!
My parents want to fly my sister out to Brainerd so that she can visit them. I think it's been something like 2 or 3 years since they have seen each other face to face. Mostly due to my sister being too poor to travel and my parents reluctance to ever visit their children in the towns they live in. In the 6 years since I've moved to Chicago, I believe they have visited me only twice. They want me to come up to Brainerd the weekend they fly my sister in. But they haven't picked a weekend yet. I hope they pick Labor Day weekend. My mom's birthday is right around that weekend and I found out that it would only cost me $100 to travel via Amtrak. I haven't traveled by train in 12 years and I miss it.
---
Out of the conversation about blogs, I let out the existance of this blog. I can't wait [sarcasm alarm] for when a friend mentions something that I wrote in here, which I'm sure will kind of weird me out a little. I wonder if I ever weirded ladym out when bringing up any of the things she talks about. Now that I know that she reads it, I'll find out the answer soon enough.
So I'll have time to clean my room, right? Probably but knowing myself I still won't get anything done.
---
Last night I was talking to friends about blogging in general. We agreed that blogging is about the most self-absorbed things a person can do. It's all Me, Me, Me, all of the time. The blogs that I like to read, which are very few, are usually of people I know. That and they have a certain point of view or theme or gimmick that makes me continue to keep on reading. Example: A Year of Pictures After the Breakup, the blog I mentioned earlier. My friend ladym also has a blog that documents her life post break-up. My best friend Matt kept 2 blogs once; the first post break-up and the second a travel blog of his adventures in Europe. My friend Sarah kept a travel blog when she went to China. There are probably another dozen or two of improvisers that keep a blog.
For me, I love the ones that I brutally honest. The kind that make me question whether I should be reading this because it is almost too vulnerable. I admire the courage to be that honest in the blogosphere. I almost wish I could be that honest. But I can't be as open as I wish to. I guess it's egotistical but a lot of the time I feel like I'm being watched. Not like I'm being watched by the government, but like I feel like I always have some sort of audience.
I like gossiping... a lot. Check that. I like hearing gossip. I'm a pretty good keeper of secrets and for the most part, especially when I know something was told to me in confidence, I don't spread gossip around. But I'm usually the last to hear anything. People dont' seem to view me as their sound board or go-to person for personal shit. That's great because I'm not a constant dumping ground, but at that same time it makes it seem like I live in a vaccuum.
I would say that currently it does feel at times like all my close friends have moved away. Or that my friends that I felt comfortable being really honest to have become too busy for conversations. So I do feel like my life is lacking real connections. I want to connect with people but you can't force it. And this is just aggravated by how slow I am to make new friends.
But I still feel the need to unload all of these things waying on my mind. I could dump it into this blog. But it would be like tossing coins into a wishing fountain. I need another human being to connect with. Which really fuels my desire to find a love with whom I can be completely honest. This makes me long for which I do not have and then I start getting sad about the things I don't have instead of relishing the things that I do have. Thus the seemingly never-ending cycle of infinite melancholy.
---
I used my new air pump on my bike yesterday. It was fun to do in a total cheese ball way. My pump has an air pressure gauge on it. My road bike tires need to be between 115 and 125 psi. At about 100psi is when it gets really difficult to pump any more air into the tire. Man do I need to get stronger. I should start doing sit-ups and push-ups since they are easy to do in that I can do them anywhere any they wouldn't take up too much of my free time. Maybe later I can then add pull-ups to complete the "-Ups" family.
I bought a Sunday pass for the upcoming Pitchfork Festival. I'm looking forward to it. Then a week or so after that is Lallapalooza [spelling is probably wrong]. Yay outdoor music fests!
My parents want to fly my sister out to Brainerd so that she can visit them. I think it's been something like 2 or 3 years since they have seen each other face to face. Mostly due to my sister being too poor to travel and my parents reluctance to ever visit their children in the towns they live in. In the 6 years since I've moved to Chicago, I believe they have visited me only twice. They want me to come up to Brainerd the weekend they fly my sister in. But they haven't picked a weekend yet. I hope they pick Labor Day weekend. My mom's birthday is right around that weekend and I found out that it would only cost me $100 to travel via Amtrak. I haven't traveled by train in 12 years and I miss it.
---
Out of the conversation about blogs, I let out the existance of this blog. I can't wait [sarcasm alarm] for when a friend mentions something that I wrote in here, which I'm sure will kind of weird me out a little. I wonder if I ever weirded ladym out when bringing up any of the things she talks about. Now that I know that she reads it, I'll find out the answer soon enough.
Friday, July 07, 2006
Montana
Montana was great. Even during the not-so-great moments, it was a great trip.
I was supposed to have all my packing down by the time I went to bed Thursday night. At 11:30 at night, I quickly threw together some stuff that I thought I'd need, having procrastinated for the entire night. I biked to work because I wanted to have the option of doing Critical Mass before I left for Montana. However, upon seeing the limited luggage space our "van" had, I knew Critical Mass was out of the question and that I needed to buy a duffel bag and repack my stuff.
A Chrysler Pacifica is not really a van as you would think it. Imagine a van and a station wagon had sex. Their baby would be a Chrysler Pacifica. Instead of a sliding door, it had the car-like four doors. The trunk space? Almost non-existant. There was barely enough room for two large sized suitcases. Ben said it best: we need to pack light.
Keywords from the Trip and Brief Explanations as Need Be
the lifetime(s) of Larry ("that's me") of Judith Gap, Montana
- on our way back to Chicago, we stopped at this nice place that was half dinner and half gift shop/convience store. We sat at the dinner counter and this guy to our left who was about 60-something years old took about a minute or so after we sat down to chat us up. He was a talkative fellow and by the time we left to get back on the highway, we basically knew his life story. Great lines from Larry: "I broke my back," "I get high everyday," "when I was 40 years old I found out I was half Mexican," "my first boss was my birth father," "Republicans are horrible," "I knew Jimmy Hendrix and he just free styled the Star Spangled Banner," "you gotta stop by and visit Judith Gap."
"Something's wrong with Bryan's eyes" and Apul's lips
- two of the guys of the Jungle and Ben from the Snakes didn't respond well to the outdoors on this trip. Ben got a huge headcold that kept him indoors most of the time. Bryan had some sort of bad alergic reaction to the first day's hike; his eyes became very red. Apul's lips swelled up for some reason and then two days later he had these puffy regions under his eyes swell up as well. He looked awful. Poor guys.
Yoga on the front porch
Hunting beaver
Foam keg
Levin's trophies
Old diet pepsi cans
Feeding horses
"I know you from the internet"
- this is a quote from Rex to Annie, referring probably seeing her comments posted all over Levin's myspace page.
Rex the speed racer
Wet pizza
- we brought two pizzas from Chicago to the ranch so that Levin's dad, Harrison, could experience Chicago style pizza. The method of keeping them cool with improvised since they wouldn't fit in a cooler. Suffice to say that the pizzas were pretty wet by the time we arrived in Montana 24 hours later.
Baserunning
- the Great Falls White Sox have a problem when it come to base running. So Bad. But it provided a great bit of yelling out "stay" any time they were running.
Red beer
Tiny casinos
Harrison O'Connor's acting debut in a short film
stock footage
Katy's run away attempts
meowing elks
The three sisters and LeRoy.
dead baby deer.
Bloodlust.
Making Barbeque sauce.
Flattened snake carcasses.
L.A. people's busted van window.
- Annie backed up the van into a pole with a box on it. The left rear door was super dented in and the window was shattered. They drove around with a bag taped over it... except on the day they needed it, the 4th of July. Which made everyone inside it covered in a nice layer of dust.
The Harrison O'Connor bow and arrow challenge.
Fluffing sheets for 15-30 minutes.
Suspenders and jeans.
Riding a bike to the Malt Shop.
"I believe."
Good thoughts about America.
Meat pusher.
The burning bush.
Molly went home with the Jungle.
No fighting
LA people are cool
Bertrando
Ben's new drinking game "Pig 2"
Songs: "No Fajjots on the 4th of July" "Ballad of Oscar" "$100 on 1776"
Mashups
Pie
Pork
224 Buffalo Tamales
Ben is a bird guy. He killed two with the van
The sounds of penguins
Sacks and druks and rock n roll song
Trucker Speed
Great Falls bar with mechanical bull
Real bulls, crying. "My penis!"
yelling out "my penis" while a small child was present
elk herd
Perfect weather for a hike up a mountain
soggy feet
Where are your family at around the Midwest talk with LeRoy
Barely any sleep on trip back
Settlers of Catan
James and his 4th of July 3-D glasses
great fireworks display
new friends Annie, Rachel, Apul, James, Bryan, and Bertrando.
Lynn and her Tibetian prayer flags
"you almost killed a kid number 24. How do you feel about that?"
"You got patriot hymmed"
and many other things I'm forgetting.
I was supposed to have all my packing down by the time I went to bed Thursday night. At 11:30 at night, I quickly threw together some stuff that I thought I'd need, having procrastinated for the entire night. I biked to work because I wanted to have the option of doing Critical Mass before I left for Montana. However, upon seeing the limited luggage space our "van" had, I knew Critical Mass was out of the question and that I needed to buy a duffel bag and repack my stuff.
A Chrysler Pacifica is not really a van as you would think it. Imagine a van and a station wagon had sex. Their baby would be a Chrysler Pacifica. Instead of a sliding door, it had the car-like four doors. The trunk space? Almost non-existant. There was barely enough room for two large sized suitcases. Ben said it best: we need to pack light.
Keywords from the Trip and Brief Explanations as Need Be
the lifetime(s) of Larry ("that's me") of Judith Gap, Montana
- on our way back to Chicago, we stopped at this nice place that was half dinner and half gift shop/convience store. We sat at the dinner counter and this guy to our left who was about 60-something years old took about a minute or so after we sat down to chat us up. He was a talkative fellow and by the time we left to get back on the highway, we basically knew his life story. Great lines from Larry: "I broke my back," "I get high everyday," "when I was 40 years old I found out I was half Mexican," "my first boss was my birth father," "Republicans are horrible," "I knew Jimmy Hendrix and he just free styled the Star Spangled Banner," "you gotta stop by and visit Judith Gap."
"Something's wrong with Bryan's eyes" and Apul's lips
- two of the guys of the Jungle and Ben from the Snakes didn't respond well to the outdoors on this trip. Ben got a huge headcold that kept him indoors most of the time. Bryan had some sort of bad alergic reaction to the first day's hike; his eyes became very red. Apul's lips swelled up for some reason and then two days later he had these puffy regions under his eyes swell up as well. He looked awful. Poor guys.
Yoga on the front porch
Hunting beaver
Foam keg
Levin's trophies
Old diet pepsi cans
Feeding horses
"I know you from the internet"
- this is a quote from Rex to Annie, referring probably seeing her comments posted all over Levin's myspace page.
Rex the speed racer
Wet pizza
- we brought two pizzas from Chicago to the ranch so that Levin's dad, Harrison, could experience Chicago style pizza. The method of keeping them cool with improvised since they wouldn't fit in a cooler. Suffice to say that the pizzas were pretty wet by the time we arrived in Montana 24 hours later.
Baserunning
- the Great Falls White Sox have a problem when it come to base running. So Bad. But it provided a great bit of yelling out "stay" any time they were running.
Red beer
Tiny casinos
Harrison O'Connor's acting debut in a short film
stock footage
Katy's run away attempts
meowing elks
The three sisters and LeRoy.
dead baby deer.
Bloodlust.
Making Barbeque sauce.
Flattened snake carcasses.
L.A. people's busted van window.
- Annie backed up the van into a pole with a box on it. The left rear door was super dented in and the window was shattered. They drove around with a bag taped over it... except on the day they needed it, the 4th of July. Which made everyone inside it covered in a nice layer of dust.
The Harrison O'Connor bow and arrow challenge.
Fluffing sheets for 15-30 minutes.
Suspenders and jeans.
Riding a bike to the Malt Shop.
"I believe."
Good thoughts about America.
Meat pusher.
The burning bush.
Molly went home with the Jungle.
No fighting
LA people are cool
Bertrando
Ben's new drinking game "Pig 2"
Songs: "No Fajjots on the 4th of July" "Ballad of Oscar" "$100 on 1776"
Mashups
Pie
Pork
224 Buffalo Tamales
Ben is a bird guy. He killed two with the van
The sounds of penguins
Sacks and druks and rock n roll song
Trucker Speed
Great Falls bar with mechanical bull
Real bulls, crying. "My penis!"
yelling out "my penis" while a small child was present
elk herd
Perfect weather for a hike up a mountain
soggy feet
Where are your family at around the Midwest talk with LeRoy
Barely any sleep on trip back
Settlers of Catan
James and his 4th of July 3-D glasses
great fireworks display
new friends Annie, Rachel, Apul, James, Bryan, and Bertrando.
Lynn and her Tibetian prayer flags
"you almost killed a kid number 24. How do you feel about that?"
"You got patriot hymmed"
and many other things I'm forgetting.
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