What? No Improv This Weekend?

The team I coach has moved their rehearsals from Sunday to Tuesday. And neither of the team I'm on has a show this weekend. This means I have no improv obligations.

So I'll have time to clean my room, right? Probably but knowing myself I still won't get anything done.

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Last night I was talking to friends about blogging in general. We agreed that blogging is about the most self-absorbed things a person can do. It's all Me, Me, Me, all of the time. The blogs that I like to read, which are very few, are usually of people I know. That and they have a certain point of view or theme or gimmick that makes me continue to keep on reading. Example: A Year of Pictures After the Breakup, the blog I mentioned earlier. My friend ladym also has a blog that documents her life post break-up. My best friend Matt kept 2 blogs once; the first post break-up and the second a travel blog of his adventures in Europe. My friend Sarah kept a travel blog when she went to China. There are probably another dozen or two of improvisers that keep a blog.

For me, I love the ones that I brutally honest. The kind that make me question whether I should be reading this because it is almost too vulnerable. I admire the courage to be that honest in the blogosphere. I almost wish I could be that honest. But I can't be as open as I wish to. I guess it's egotistical but a lot of the time I feel like I'm being watched. Not like I'm being watched by the government, but like I feel like I always have some sort of audience.

I like gossiping... a lot. Check that. I like hearing gossip. I'm a pretty good keeper of secrets and for the most part, especially when I know something was told to me in confidence, I don't spread gossip around. But I'm usually the last to hear anything. People dont' seem to view me as their sound board or go-to person for personal shit. That's great because I'm not a constant dumping ground, but at that same time it makes it seem like I live in a vaccuum.

I would say that currently it does feel at times like all my close friends have moved away. Or that my friends that I felt comfortable being really honest to have become too busy for conversations. So I do feel like my life is lacking real connections. I want to connect with people but you can't force it. And this is just aggravated by how slow I am to make new friends.

But I still feel the need to unload all of these things waying on my mind. I could dump it into this blog. But it would be like tossing coins into a wishing fountain. I need another human being to connect with. Which really fuels my desire to find a love with whom I can be completely honest. This makes me long for which I do not have and then I start getting sad about the things I don't have instead of relishing the things that I do have. Thus the seemingly never-ending cycle of infinite melancholy.

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I used my new air pump on my bike yesterday. It was fun to do in a total cheese ball way. My pump has an air pressure gauge on it. My road bike tires need to be between 115 and 125 psi. At about 100psi is when it gets really difficult to pump any more air into the tire. Man do I need to get stronger. I should start doing sit-ups and push-ups since they are easy to do in that I can do them anywhere any they wouldn't take up too much of my free time. Maybe later I can then add pull-ups to complete the "-Ups" family.

I bought a Sunday pass for the upcoming Pitchfork Festival. I'm looking forward to it. Then a week or so after that is Lallapalooza [spelling is probably wrong]. Yay outdoor music fests!

My parents want to fly my sister out to Brainerd so that she can visit them. I think it's been something like 2 or 3 years since they have seen each other face to face. Mostly due to my sister being too poor to travel and my parents reluctance to ever visit their children in the towns they live in. In the 6 years since I've moved to Chicago, I believe they have visited me only twice. They want me to come up to Brainerd the weekend they fly my sister in. But they haven't picked a weekend yet. I hope they pick Labor Day weekend. My mom's birthday is right around that weekend and I found out that it would only cost me $100 to travel via Amtrak. I haven't traveled by train in 12 years and I miss it.

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Out of the conversation about blogs, I let out the existance of this blog. I can't wait [sarcasm alarm] for when a friend mentions something that I wrote in here, which I'm sure will kind of weird me out a little. I wonder if I ever weirded ladym out when bringing up any of the things she talks about. Now that I know that she reads it, I'll find out the answer soon enough.