Expensive Year

money for:
new computer
new road bike
PlayStation 2 and Guitar Hero
new fancy suit
trip to LA
trip to Montana
Great America water park
trip to Aurora
trip to Brainerd, MN
trip to Milwaukee
iPod
Pitchfork Festival
Lolapalooza
and then the eventual visiting of parents in Brainerd.

Well, I did my part to help out the economy, that's for sure.

Sketchcore's show is done and the last show was a good one. Lots of friends in the audience and they all liked it. Skeleton Attack had a good show last night and that makes me feel good.

I saw Andrew Bird at the Logan Square Auditorium this past Friday and it was good to okay. He doesn't really like to play old stuff which always dismays me. And his new stuff seems to be going in a more rock directions, which also dismays me a little. Almost all the bands I was a huge fan of two years ago seem to be putting out worse and worse stuff. Le sigh.

Turkey Day was okay. I slept in most of the day due to doing karaoke into the few hours of the morning the previous night. Then I had dinner at a friends' apartment and I got my yearly full of turkey. We played Guitar Hero II to my delight and two rounds of Celebrity. Later I got to try out the Nintendo Wii, which is neat and cool but I'm still not sure it's more than just a fad. The controls are so ahead of the times I'm not sure people will like it. Playing boxing on it sure is fun though. Then I went to see Casino Royale. I liked it very much and the more that I think about it the more I like it.

I got my headshot. Now I need to actually get it duplicated and I will have completed a very big checkmark off my list that I created at the beginning of this year.

Quick updates

Sketchcore's last show is tomorrow. We got 5 out of 6 stars in Time Out Chicago!

Rattlesnake has a show tonight. I love these guys.

FELT had a full house this past Wednesday and it was a lot of fun.

Played Candy Land, old school Trivial Pursuit, and Battleship this week. It was nice to remind me of those games.

Armando is great again. This past Monday was solid gold.

Guitar Hero is the tool of the devil. Sleep is overrated.

Next week I'll get my old headshot developed again. Then I can get them duplicated. Unless I decide I just HAVE to get ones in color. (old headshots were shot in black and white so there's no way to colorize them. boo)

I have competing urges to gush and to keep quiet about my private life. That's all I'll say about that.

God Help Me

God help me.

I bought a Guitar Hero Playstation bundle through Best Buy's online store. The bundle includes the Playstation 2 console, the Guitar Hero game (the first one), and a Guitar Hero controller. I'm sure I'll put Guitar Hero II on my Christmas wish list.

This purchase will doom me into becoming a hermit this winter season. It will also eat into my Netflix watching time. And I'm sure I'll put off doing laundry or getting groceries or even eating because I've just GOT TO finish this ONE LAST song. I know it's going to be addictive as hell. I'm just happy that my fingers will start to hurt after long hours of playing it. This will probably ensure that I actually take a break and, you know, resume actually having a life.

I'm also preparing for these songs to invade my dreams at night.

On an unrelated note, I watched The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi on CineMax yesterday. Unfortunately they were the altered versions because Lucas just can't leave well enough alone. Doesn't he realize that once you release a movie to the general public, the movie experience almost becomes public domain. In that the movie we see becomes what the movie is. A movies shouldn't be a canvass that can change. It shouldn't change at all. You cannot change things in a movie 25 years later... even if you are the director. The God damned singing number at Jaba's palace looks so awful next to all the actual Henson creatures around it. It looks like the creators of Men in Black inserted a crappy Pixar creature in the movie. It's too kiddie; too cute, too unrealistic. I hate it. Hate, hate, hate it.

Excuse me while I try to get back to my happy place.

Sitting in and Another Wedding

I'd say I'm 98% healed from my pulled shoulder muscle which is good news.

The warm spell in Chicago is over, which isn't good news.

I sat in for Dunbar in the Sketchcore show and I did all right. I had a little trouble with the Taking Back Rainbows rap before the show started. When I get frustrated that I can't get something I've been working all week on, I start to shut down and get defensive. I tried to combat that while the cast calmed me down and worked through the problem. I had the tendency to go too fast while doing the rap. During the show I did pretty good. I did mess up towards the end, but I covered it up pretty nicely. The show was over before I knew it. Because I did Chocolate Shop, I got to grab Molly's breasts and make out with her, which is hilarious. Being an actor means you can do those sort of things with your friends and it's okay.

Right after the show we took a cab over to Chris and Carrie's wedding. It was in this small club that used to be a restaurant that the city now uses for people to rent out. They had a British Invasion cover band play and they were amazing. They're called the New Invaders and we gave them the best gig ever I feel. I danced up a storm along with a sweat. Then we headed over to Holly and Alex's apartment for an after party. During the coarse of the night, I was witness to many new coupling-up instances. Had this happened two weeks ago, I would have been down about this out of jealousy. But I wasn't. It way, way too early to say anything at all... but I will just say that whatever I have going on, it allowed me to not be jealous, which is good news.

So I've been to 3 weddings this Autumn. I'm glad I have no more in the horizon because I need a break from them.

Election Results Fever!

Holy crap. I can't believe the Democrats actually pulled it off. Both the House and the Senate? Hats off to you guys. You all really made that distaste America has for Bush work in your favor even though most people really don't think you're really all that better than the GOP.

But I'm ecstatic. Finally, after 12 years of conservative Hell, we'll have at least two years of Democratic Purgatory. I'm kidding and I'm not. Am I a democrat? Yes I am. Do I think anything will really change in America? Not really.

Although I could be wrong. I surely didn't see Rumsfeld's resignation coming. At all. The Democrats winning the House wasn't a surprise. The Democrats just eeking out a majority in the Senate, that was surprise on the level of a slap in the face. But Remsfeld stepping down was a surprise on the level of sucker punch... in the balls and the face. "My face! My balls!"

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Promise Keepers is the best improv group out right now. Such great work. I'm so envious. I'm so inspired. Thankfully I get to improvise with two of them on Rattlesnake High School.

Handle With Care

As I slowly approach 30 I'm noticing some changes in my body.

I've finally hit puberty!!!

No. Not really. I kid. What I mean is that I've noticed that my body is breaking down like a product that's past its warranty. People told me that my metabolism would slow down eventually, probably around 30, and I just laughed. "I'm gonna be young forever. It'll be around 40 or 50 that I start to actually age." Silly rabbit, tricks are for kids.

I still have a high metabolism, but I have noticed that it's not as ridiculously high as it usually is. I've gained weight in the last year. Like 15 to 20 pounds which for me is crazy. I'm not too terribly out of shape but I'm still out of shape. I should probably start trying to get in shape before my metabolism slows down even more. Prevention is better than playing keep up I figure.

I should be doing sit-ups. And push-ups. Maybe some pull-ups. All the "-ups." Stretches: yeah, that's a good idea too. Yoga? Let's not get ahead of ourselves. Remember that one time where I tried to start doing yoga? Did that last? No, it didn't me. But using my bike more often and maybe, just maybe easing into some running would be good too. That's probably all I could handle at this point.

This issue was forced into my mind or more accurately, brought into sharpe focus, this past Friday. I had just put my coat and messenger bag on in the morning. I was ready to head to work. Then I raised my right arm up - why, I don't even remember - and left my right shoulder muscle says "oh no you don't" and decides to pull itself out of place. Ouch!

At first I thought maybe all it would take to right itself was a nice stretch to crack the bones. No such luck. I took Advil and went to work but by the time I arrived at the office I was in real pain. I couldn't focus on work it was so bad. I told my boss about it and he let me go home super early. I think I made it until 9:15am before I had to bow out of work.

This past weekend was all about sleep and Advil. I feel better but I'm still not 100% recovered. My lower right side of my neck is still stiff. It feels like all it needs is a good cracking and then all will be better. But I won't attempt to force it to crack for fear of hurting my neck even more. When I rotate my neck in a circle, my neck crackles a lot. I've got more crackling than a camp fire at this point.

What Happened Halloween Weekend

I got to see Sketchcore this past weekend. It was their second show but the first one I got to see. We worked on transistions before we opened the house and one of the transitions we changed works so much better. A reviewer is coming to the show this weekend and I'm excited about that. Mostly because I'm assured that the third show will be the best one.

After that show I had a show at iO. We're doing a more scene-work focused form right now and it was our second show where we implimented it. It didn't go as well as the first time but it was more due to us being rusty at scenes rather than the from itself.

Molly, Paul, Rex, Bill, and I went to the Halloween loft party at Cusick's old apartment. Many people still think of him as the host of it even though he doesn't live there anymore. Paul, Rex, and Bill did a trio group costume. They did Weekend At Bernie's with Rex being Bernie, Paul as Andrew McCarthy, and Bill and Jonathan Silverman. Molly was a girl from the rival band of Jem. I didn't have anything picked out but I did put on my cowboy styled shirt on and just told people I was a gay cowboy. It was pretty hot in there and crowded but two hours into it the place got a little more bearable. I got pretty drunk and as a result had a pretty good time. Let's just say that I wasn't shy at the party.

I've been doing the terrible thing of staying up late (mostly due to watching Freaks and Geeks episodes) and waking up late. I've really seriously debated calling in sick to work almost every morning this week but each day I manage to get myself to work on time.

My Eyes Hurt

Today wasn't too good.

I woke up this morning still tired. I've been so tired for a week now. My body is begging to get 10 hours of sleep at least but I cannot afford the time. Friday was finally a night I could just crash in my bed after work. There were no shows or rehearsals I had to go to. I stayed awake after work on Friday, hanging out on the couch, watching Battlestar Galactica, trying to deny the fact that I had a lack of sleep headache. Once the episode was over - which was A-MA-ZING - I tried to crash in my bed at 9pm.

I just couldn't fall asleep. After a half-hour of failing to fall asleep, I wasted time online until around 11:30 before going to bed. I set my alarm for 8pm. Surely 8 hours would be enough or so I thought. I woke feeling like I needed another 8 hours of sleep.

Saturday I went to Mike and Amanda's wedding in Milwaukee. It was very nice, but the traffic going north on 1-94 was crazy awful. Some people didn't even make it to the ceremony on time because of it. We (James, Marla, and I) barely had enough time to change and get to the church. We walked into the church while the procession down the aisle for the bridesmaids was starting. That night was fun and much dancing was had. I think I went to bed around 3 or so. We set the alarm for 10am. I think I got some nice sleep on that roll-away bed; but I remember having to get up in the middle of the night to pee. Way too much liquid drank. Dranked? Drunk? Whatever.

Fortunately today was a half-day at work for me. I had my TourCo audition at 4:05pm and so I took the afternoon off. Naturally I procrastinated and then scrambled to get things ready. I did the audition and didn't do too well. I hate the set-up of those auditions. I can never get comfortable in those situations. Improvising out of fear or trying too hard to impress always ends up coming out stiff and not fun. And not funny.

I came home feeling pretty down about the audition. Then I came home to find Tara and Amy in the apartment. They were crying. Niles, their cat, was super sick and on his last leg. He was lying down on the couch. The previous night I was watching TV with a blanket over me. Niles sat on me and rested while I rested. He moved over to a different spot on the blanket and I noticed a diarrhea spot. He had softish poo still on his rear section. I called Tara to tell her that I thought Niles was sick again.

Niles was this super awesome cat. Skinny and orange-ish in color. Well behaved and a master jumper. Tara and Amy had gotten Niles long ago from a cat shelter I believe. They knew when they got him that he had kitty leukemia. A month ago it looked like Niles was going to die. He was super lethargic and his normal cheery personality was gone. He was pooing everywhere also. He wasn't eating. I think he hadn't eaten for three days before he started to feel better and wolfed down a ton of cat food. He was back to his normal self. He was jumping on top of the TV or kitchen cabinets. This cat had more than nine lives.

Niles was having difficulty breathing and sometime between my coming home and me getting ready to go do light for Armando, Tara and Amy brought Niles to the hospital and they put him down. It is super sad. All I have to do is imagine Niles in his normal spots around the apartment - top of the couch, top of TV, top of kitchen cabinets, on the floor in the kitchen begging for some milk - and I start to tear up. I don't think I met a better cat. I really liked that guy.

Coming home from a bad audition to that atmosphere in the apartment will make you realize that the audition isn't really that big of a deal. There are so many more important things in life.

Feeling Cool, Feeling Sick

Terry's wedding was last Friday. It was a real fun time but I had to bow out earlier than I thought I would. It also sounds like I missed some fun times at Neo and someone's apartment above a Starbucks.

The snakes decided to meet at the Lion's Pub before the ceremony, since it was practically next door to St. Alphonsus. I arrived a little late since I underestimated how long of a walk it was from my place. I wanted to take my bike but didn't know if that was such a great idea since I was wearing a suit. When I got to the Pub, Molly and Ben were already there. As the ceremony neared, more snakes showed up and it was great to see us all dressed up very nice.

St. Alphonsus is a pretty big church and it was very pretty inside. The altar area had brown carpet which reminded me of my childhood chuch, Church of the Holy Spirit, in Schaumburg. Because it was a Catholic wedding, the ceremony was quite long although not as long as I was expecting. Terry couldn't stop smiling and Paul said he saw Terry's knees buckle when he first got a glimpse of Wendy entering the church in her wedding dress. She looked very pretty. There was even a part of the ceremony that those that wanted to could go a receive communion, which I found odd. But it didn't stop me from going up there to get my wafer. Levin read the first reading and he looked great. Bill arrived late, of course, and looked rather ragged. He later went home to change and when he came back he looked super awesome in a suit. POB was there too and he biked there.

After the ceremony we went to Mickey's for some drinks while we waited for Salvatore's to open for the reception. He caught the Mickey's staff off-guard since they had only just opened and had yet to get ice from the ice machine. I watched the Twins get eliminated from the playoffs. I talked to Krissy, wife of Terry's college roommate Doug. Later at the reception Krissy introduced me to Kristen, wife of Terry's other college roommate, Dave. I was happy to talk to people other than my close knit circle. I was super hungry since I forgot to eat lunch so I had some cheesesticks at Mickey's.

Salvatore's was nice and all of us snakes were at the same table. We were the only table to start the wedding reception tradition of dining our glasses to make the new couple kiss. The best man and maid of honor's speeches were really nice. The food was good and somehow I found myself with three glasses of wine in front of me at once. I hardly sipped them because I was already tipsy and not feeling well. I drank a lot of water. At one point a piece of lettuce went down the wrong pipe and I started coughing. I coughed so hard that I gave myself a big headache, which was a little weird. After dinner we went to the room with the dance floor. We all had to wait for the first songs before we could dance, so the snakes sat down at a couple of the tables just to the side of the dance floor. We all looked super cool in our suits and dresses.

Terry's and Wendy's first dance was nice. Then the bride and the bride's father danced. Then it was the dance for the groom and the groom's mother. After that, the dance floor was open to everyone. The DJ played some great hits and I quickly danced up a sweat. For a good two hours I was fine. Then my stomach started to get gasy from all the wine. It was to the point that I got concerned that I might have to throw up. So I decided to leave the party early and go home to sleep it off. I felt the party at 11pm, by which time many others had left for home too. However, I really wanted to dance and party until the sun came up so it was disappointing that I would be missing some fun memories with the snakes. I took a cab home, took 2 Advil gel-caps, and fell alseep rather easily. I woke up the next morning feeling fine.

I learned later on in the day what I missed. After the crew closed Salvatore's, then went to Neo, some goth dance club. They said it was fun to stand out from all the goth people that were there. After Neo, some went to some party at an apartment that is above Starbucks on Clark and Belmont.

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Saturday was filled with a rehearal that went well, a date that went so-so, a birthday party was that fun, a reunion of sorts that was great, multiple times waiting for the Red Line that was boring, a porch party that was fun, running into girls of the past that were awkward, eating pizza, watching Freaks & Geeks, and falling asleep in my clothes while watching the show in the wee hours of the morning.

My Suit Story

I bought a suit! Yay for me actually doing what I said I was going to do!

I wrote up a story of my journey in buying a suit on the CIN. This is what I posted:

My first choice was to go to Men's Warehouse on State. It was closer to my work downtown than H&M and it closed earlier. My plan was to check it out, then Macy's since it's super close to MW, and then head north on Mich Ave. for H&M. I'd compare and contrast and later that weekend I'd make a decision. I figured I'd like H&M but didn't want something that would fall apart; figured that Macy's would be great but too expensive; figured MW would probably be the best of both world, great customer service and low prices.

Walking to MW I discovered that there's an H&M on State St. "How convenient for me."

MW was a bust. I go in and some lady asks me if I need help. I say I need to get an idea of their selection, look at some styles, and figure out the cost. She takes my jacket size 38 (in her opinion, my height puts me sort of between a regular and a long). She shows me over to a super small section that's got the 38's. Not much to chose from and she leaves me to check it out myself. So much for customer service. I take a few out to look at but I'm confused. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to be looking for really. Still only have a vague idea of the style I want and I'm not sure I can spot a "Mod" style from a non-Mod one. The only one who really took an interest to ask me questions and make sure I was being helped was the female security guard. I wait another 3 minutes trying my best to emote "help me," get fed up and leave the store.

I walk a short walk to H&M on State St. It's smaller than the one on Mich. Their suit selection is minimal to say the least. Regular Fit or Slim fit. I'm slim so I figure I want slim. Not really keen on any of the styles. No one who works at the store even notices I'm there, which isn't surprising since it's H&M. I'm in and out in 5 minutes deflated and worried that finding a suit is going to be harder than I thought. (I have no patience for clothes shopping)

I head to Macy's. I get to the suit section, approach an older man who clearly works there and when he asks, "can I help you?" I offer "I want to buy a suit." Dollar signs sparkle in his eyes and he helps me out greatly. His name is Eric. He helps me try on suit after suit. I told him I was looking for a sort-of Mod style and he immediately knew what styles I was talking about. He led me to the Hugo Boss right away. Man, those suits are hip. Tried on some less expensive ones after I found out their prices. Still wasn't sure I knew what I was doing. Because I'm easy to push over and like to agree with people, I said that the suit I had on was great and that I liked it. It was probably the 11th suit I tried on. Eric got me some pants that fit way snug and his tailor lady to chalk out where to hem the sleaves and pants. The suit I was wearing cost $695; but there was a 20% sale on some of the brands. I got cold feet, gave some lame excuse that MW also showed me a suit that I liked, and told him I wanted to think about it. The gleam in his eye died when he saw the sale go away. I offered the only thing I could think of to compensate him for his help: a compliment. He also tells me that I have a limited time to get the suit. Why? Because I said I had a wedding to go to this Friday and it takes them a week to do the alterations. So if I delay longer than say a day, I won't have the suit in time. Good to know. Definately the best customer service I've ever had. I felt really taken care of there. Not quite the level of service Larry Miller give Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman, but close enough.

Over the weekend I check online for pictures of Mod suits and check in on this thread to see what people say. On Sunday I see The Science Of Sleep (good, not great; needed it to be way more grounded) and Gael Garcia Bernal's character where this nice mauve colored 4-buttoned suit. It strikes me as very Beatles-ish. I think maybe I need a 4-button suit. I ask you all and you give me your opinions.

I think I might go back to Macy's and try again, this time feeling more confident about what I want. But I'm relucant because it's expensive there. Based on Stacey and Bob's recommendations, I decide to check out H&M one more time. This time I'll go to the bigger store on Mich. I'm not in the mood to shop since I'm feeling sick, but I force myself to go to the store after work.

Much better selection at the larger H&M store. Once again they have it divided into Regular and Slim cut suits. I notice though that all the Slim cut suits have only two buttons on them. "That's not what I want," I say to myself. Then I check out regular cut and they have 3-buttons. "That's more like it." No 4-button suits, but that's okay. Speaking of "okay," I checked out Ok Go's video of the dudes doing the dance on some sort of patio. The tall dude is wearing a nice suit. I freeze framed it many times to check out the suit he's wearing. It's not a 4-button and it has a slit in the back of the jacket placed right on the butt. I figure that's the kind I want. I'm such a push-over and easily infuenced by the media.

I try on a nice 30R Regular cut suit. It's black with very faint lines on it. It fits like a dream and it's not too big in the shoulders. The pants were too tight, but because H&M is fine with mix and matching, I steal a size 34 pants off of a 40L suit. I also buy a fancy new tie and belt. I looked like a rock star in my new outfit and felt totally "Mod." It all cost less than $400 and I got a nice suit carrier thingy for free (free with purchase of a suit).

Roomies Tim and Tara thought it was kick ass when I showed it to them when I got home. I don't have a camera, but I'm sure I'll be able to show everyone pictures of me in the suit after I go to the wedding on Friday.

End of post.

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Other news? I'm too busy to date. Or they girls I meet just aren't what I'm looking for so I don't make time for them. Went on one date on Sunday. It was okay. No spark. Shortest date I've been on I think. Meaning we met up to see a movie and after the movie we parted ways; mostly of my chosing. I'm messaging some other girl but all of the sudden this process of meeting people online has become EXHAUSTING. I'm also so busy with rehearsals and improv in general that I have almost no time to fit in a date. And then when I do find time to fit in a date, my first thought is usually, "man, I could really have used that time to have cleaned my room or work on myself a little more. Maybe I should not date and focus on myself more."

Finallys

I started a post on the date above and saved it as a draft. Then I didn't touch this thing until late September. I came back and erased what I had saved in that draft and instead wrote what you see in this post. So this did not happen in July, but the date should be September 29, 2006. But I don't know how to change that or if I even can.
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September 29, 2006

I cleaned my bathroom last week. It was a chore but I did it. I was hoping it would have propelled me into cleaning my room but that hasn't happened yet.

I did finally send my Netflix DVDs back in the mail. They've been sitting around since June, I believe.

I finally deposited a check a friend of mine wrote for me... back in April. I finally sent Amanda and Mike my wedding invitation response postcard. It will probably get to them on the deadline for the RSVPs. I put my Cingular bill check in the mail today. So that bill will be paid on time for the first time in probably a year. I'm late fees McGee.

I have a habit of not going to the grocery store for things I need and instead going to restaurants for food. Yesterday I went to Jewel finally. There is something I love about it, you'd think I'd do it all the time. What I love to do is to show up listening to kick ass songs on my iPod while I power grocery shop. I walk with purpose from aisle to aisle as I pick up things on my mental grocery list. I casually people watch but I'm watching them from behind a glass wall while Belle & Sebastian dances in my ear.

Then I stand in line for the self check out express registers. I'm a pro at these things. I scan my things on the first try. I bag my stuff like an expert bagger. I swipe my debit card and enter my PIN and within seconds I've got my extra cash and receipt in hand. Then like a tiger after a gazelle I'm out of that crowded Lakeview meat market. I feel so adult. So mature. I've got groceries. Yeah, I'll make my own dinner. Sure, it's just a PB and honey sandwich or a bowl of cereal, but God dammit, I made it. I love it.

On the other side, I have been checking out the Onion personals A LOT more than usual. Way too much. I put new pictures of myself all over it (same with Friendster and MySpace) and I'm obsessed with seeing if these pictures create more interest in me with the ladies. There have been more hits but so far the 1 "letter" I sent a lady who viewed my profile has yet to be replied to. Ah well. Of note is that "Lost Cause" by Beck is playing right now. How fitting. My latest fanasty is to have some non-improviser lady approach me and tell me she thinks I'm funny after seeing a show of mine. Then we hit it off and start dating. The fantasies never include me being the one to approach them. I should probably start to incorporate that into them. Or, better yet, stop the daydreaming and actually be proactive and when I'm talking to a girl I like actually vocalize it. I'm such a socially inept dude.

I successfully went through August without having any alcohol. The first couple of weeks of September I hardly had any beers. I think the first alcoholic drink I had this month was wine. Yes, that's right, during my friend's birthday fun time in the suburbs. Man that was a lot of fun.

I've fallen into growing a beard. It started out of laziness. Then I was going to visit my parents. I wanted them to see me with some facial hair so i didn't shave. By the time I got back I just felt like trying to see how growing a beard goes. But this time, actually giving it time to grow. Instead of getting sick of it after two weeks and shaving it off. "Wild Horses" by the Stones is playing right now. How appropriate.

I was looking at some lady's profile off of Friendster and there's this one photo of her in a car with the sunlight hitting her hair in this certain way that kind of highlights the hair from the back, giving it a kind of bright outline if you will. The lady is of no importance, because she's taken, but the reason I'm mentioning this light effect is because it is so beautiful. In fact, ladies' hairdos in general fascinate me. When I'm riding the L, sitting down and a lady happens to be seated in front of me, I usually find myself in focused study of the back of her hairdo. I like the way the hairs are either combed or pinned or tossled. Show me a picture of a girl with her face partially blocked in a sexy way by her hair and I'm in heaven. Last year when I was in those couple of relationships, what I particularly loved about cuddling was being able to run my hands through their hair. It's soothing.

I just realized that it's just like petting a cat that's on your lap. Hmmmm. I don't know what that says about me or if it's a good realization or not. Perhaps it just means I'm a cat person. Or maybe just the general sensation of hair through my fingers is pleasing. Like Amelie with her love of putting her hands into a pile of stones. "Corcovado (Quiet Night of Quiet Star)" by Astrud Gilberto is playing right now. How lovely.

I'm directing Sketchcore in their next sketch show, which goes up in about three weeks. It's a lot of work with even more work to do in the coming weeks. It's challenging and fun at the same time. Although I feel like I've been in a personal improv funk in the past month or so, I've had two separate occasions where people have said they wanted to do a side project with me and that's great. I'll have time to do so come November. Coaching Skeleton Attack is a joy and I'm really proud of how good they all are. Great scenework's happening in rehearsals.

Not this weekend but next weekend I'll be at a wedding for a teammate and I want to buy a kick ass suit. Something that evokes the slick and cool style of London, like something from Trainspotting. My partner in crime at work has moved over to a different job within the company, which is great for him but lonely for me. I get a new partner tomorrow and I'm dreading it. Work load-wise it will be great, but I'm expecting this new dude to not fit at all and leave soon after. I'm hoping for the best but I wont' hold my breath.

This past month has been baby steps for me in getting my act together. That's nice. Finally.

What? No Improv This Weekend?

The team I coach has moved their rehearsals from Sunday to Tuesday. And neither of the team I'm on has a show this weekend. This means I have no improv obligations.

So I'll have time to clean my room, right? Probably but knowing myself I still won't get anything done.

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Last night I was talking to friends about blogging in general. We agreed that blogging is about the most self-absorbed things a person can do. It's all Me, Me, Me, all of the time. The blogs that I like to read, which are very few, are usually of people I know. That and they have a certain point of view or theme or gimmick that makes me continue to keep on reading. Example: A Year of Pictures After the Breakup, the blog I mentioned earlier. My friend ladym also has a blog that documents her life post break-up. My best friend Matt kept 2 blogs once; the first post break-up and the second a travel blog of his adventures in Europe. My friend Sarah kept a travel blog when she went to China. There are probably another dozen or two of improvisers that keep a blog.

For me, I love the ones that I brutally honest. The kind that make me question whether I should be reading this because it is almost too vulnerable. I admire the courage to be that honest in the blogosphere. I almost wish I could be that honest. But I can't be as open as I wish to. I guess it's egotistical but a lot of the time I feel like I'm being watched. Not like I'm being watched by the government, but like I feel like I always have some sort of audience.

I like gossiping... a lot. Check that. I like hearing gossip. I'm a pretty good keeper of secrets and for the most part, especially when I know something was told to me in confidence, I don't spread gossip around. But I'm usually the last to hear anything. People dont' seem to view me as their sound board or go-to person for personal shit. That's great because I'm not a constant dumping ground, but at that same time it makes it seem like I live in a vaccuum.

I would say that currently it does feel at times like all my close friends have moved away. Or that my friends that I felt comfortable being really honest to have become too busy for conversations. So I do feel like my life is lacking real connections. I want to connect with people but you can't force it. And this is just aggravated by how slow I am to make new friends.

But I still feel the need to unload all of these things waying on my mind. I could dump it into this blog. But it would be like tossing coins into a wishing fountain. I need another human being to connect with. Which really fuels my desire to find a love with whom I can be completely honest. This makes me long for which I do not have and then I start getting sad about the things I don't have instead of relishing the things that I do have. Thus the seemingly never-ending cycle of infinite melancholy.

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I used my new air pump on my bike yesterday. It was fun to do in a total cheese ball way. My pump has an air pressure gauge on it. My road bike tires need to be between 115 and 125 psi. At about 100psi is when it gets really difficult to pump any more air into the tire. Man do I need to get stronger. I should start doing sit-ups and push-ups since they are easy to do in that I can do them anywhere any they wouldn't take up too much of my free time. Maybe later I can then add pull-ups to complete the "-Ups" family.

I bought a Sunday pass for the upcoming Pitchfork Festival. I'm looking forward to it. Then a week or so after that is Lallapalooza [spelling is probably wrong]. Yay outdoor music fests!

My parents want to fly my sister out to Brainerd so that she can visit them. I think it's been something like 2 or 3 years since they have seen each other face to face. Mostly due to my sister being too poor to travel and my parents reluctance to ever visit their children in the towns they live in. In the 6 years since I've moved to Chicago, I believe they have visited me only twice. They want me to come up to Brainerd the weekend they fly my sister in. But they haven't picked a weekend yet. I hope they pick Labor Day weekend. My mom's birthday is right around that weekend and I found out that it would only cost me $100 to travel via Amtrak. I haven't traveled by train in 12 years and I miss it.

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Out of the conversation about blogs, I let out the existance of this blog. I can't wait [sarcasm alarm] for when a friend mentions something that I wrote in here, which I'm sure will kind of weird me out a little. I wonder if I ever weirded ladym out when bringing up any of the things she talks about. Now that I know that she reads it, I'll find out the answer soon enough.

Montana

Montana was great. Even during the not-so-great moments, it was a great trip.

I was supposed to have all my packing down by the time I went to bed Thursday night. At 11:30 at night, I quickly threw together some stuff that I thought I'd need, having procrastinated for the entire night. I biked to work because I wanted to have the option of doing Critical Mass before I left for Montana. However, upon seeing the limited luggage space our "van" had, I knew Critical Mass was out of the question and that I needed to buy a duffel bag and repack my stuff.

A Chrysler Pacifica is not really a van as you would think it. Imagine a van and a station wagon had sex. Their baby would be a Chrysler Pacifica. Instead of a sliding door, it had the car-like four doors. The trunk space? Almost non-existant. There was barely enough room for two large sized suitcases. Ben said it best: we need to pack light.

Keywords from the Trip and Brief Explanations as Need Be

the lifetime(s) of Larry ("that's me") of Judith Gap, Montana
- on our way back to Chicago, we stopped at this nice place that was half dinner and half gift shop/convience store. We sat at the dinner counter and this guy to our left who was about 60-something years old took about a minute or so after we sat down to chat us up. He was a talkative fellow and by the time we left to get back on the highway, we basically knew his life story. Great lines from Larry: "I broke my back," "I get high everyday," "when I was 40 years old I found out I was half Mexican," "my first boss was my birth father," "Republicans are horrible," "I knew Jimmy Hendrix and he just free styled the Star Spangled Banner," "you gotta stop by and visit Judith Gap."

"Something's wrong with Bryan's eyes" and Apul's lips
- two of the guys of the Jungle and Ben from the Snakes didn't respond well to the outdoors on this trip. Ben got a huge headcold that kept him indoors most of the time. Bryan had some sort of bad alergic reaction to the first day's hike; his eyes became very red. Apul's lips swelled up for some reason and then two days later he had these puffy regions under his eyes swell up as well. He looked awful. Poor guys.

Yoga on the front porch
Hunting beaver
Foam keg
Levin's trophies
Old diet pepsi cans
Feeding horses
"I know you from the internet"
- this is a quote from Rex to Annie, referring probably seeing her comments posted all over Levin's myspace page.
Rex the speed racer
Wet pizza
- we brought two pizzas from Chicago to the ranch so that Levin's dad, Harrison, could experience Chicago style pizza. The method of keeping them cool with improvised since they wouldn't fit in a cooler. Suffice to say that the pizzas were pretty wet by the time we arrived in Montana 24 hours later.
Baserunning
- the Great Falls White Sox have a problem when it come to base running. So Bad. But it provided a great bit of yelling out "stay" any time they were running.
Red beer
Tiny casinos
Harrison O'Connor's acting debut in a short film
stock footage
Katy's run away attempts
meowing elks
The three sisters and LeRoy.
dead baby deer.
Bloodlust.
Making Barbeque sauce.
Flattened snake carcasses.
L.A. people's busted van window.
- Annie backed up the van into a pole with a box on it. The left rear door was super dented in and the window was shattered. They drove around with a bag taped over it... except on the day they needed it, the 4th of July. Which made everyone inside it covered in a nice layer of dust.
The Harrison O'Connor bow and arrow challenge.
Fluffing sheets for 15-30 minutes.
Suspenders and jeans.
Riding a bike to the Malt Shop.
"I believe."
Good thoughts about America.
Meat pusher.
The burning bush.
Molly went home with the Jungle.
No fighting
LA people are cool
Bertrando
Ben's new drinking game "Pig 2"
Songs: "No Fajjots on the 4th of July" "Ballad of Oscar" "$100 on 1776"
Mashups
Pie
Pork
224 Buffalo Tamales
Ben is a bird guy. He killed two with the van
The sounds of penguins
Sacks and druks and rock n roll song
Trucker Speed
Great Falls bar with mechanical bull
Real bulls, crying. "My penis!"
yelling out "my penis" while a small child was present
elk herd
Perfect weather for a hike up a mountain
soggy feet
Where are your family at around the Midwest talk with LeRoy
Barely any sleep on trip back
Settlers of Catan
James and his 4th of July 3-D glasses
great fireworks display
new friends Annie, Rachel, Apul, James, Bryan, and Bertrando.
Lynn and her Tibetian prayer flags
"you almost killed a kid number 24. How do you feel about that?"
"You got patriot hymmed"

and many other things I'm forgetting.

The 1900s

My acquaintance Arnie had a blog that he kep for a year that he just finished. I was reading parts of it and I saw that he is friends with some people in a band. The band is called The 1900s. I checked out their website and liked the snipets of songs that I heard off of it. I then looked them up on iTunes, expecting a local band to not be on it. But they were on it. So I bought their EP Plume Delivery. I LOVE it. It's like Belle and Sebastion but somehow better. Better than Belle and Sebastian? Yes.

I also think that people that take lots of pictures have got it figured out. When I check out blogs and see people's pictures on them, I think, "wow, their life is so awesome." And then, of course, I think, "my life isn't that cool." I know it's only the pictures that are doing this. I know this because a picture can take something that is really bland and ordinary and something that you would normally pass by and not notice into something really fascinating.

I am still struggling with the two things I am posted about in my past entry. But, I've only got five days until I go to Montana. So that's really nice.

I've also started to play around with iMovie HD on my computer. It's really neat although it keeps freezing on me, which totally sucks.

Happy and Clean

Two things I need to do that are important:

1) Get Happy. I've been OBSESSED with thoughts about relationships and dating and women on the radar in the past month. To the point where it's making me sad. It makes me sad because the theoretical dating experience in my head is always great and stress free. It's full of excitement and joy. I'm living in fantasy land and it needs to stop. I need to realize that me being single at the moment is fine. I need to relish being free. I need to stop thinking that the only way I can get happy is if I were in a great committed relationship with a women who loved me. Sure, that'd be great, but I'm not letting myself be happy with what I've got. A crush I had on this one girl 5 years ago has once again reared it's head and I can't shake it. I need to either get over it once again or actually tell her that I think she's cute and that I would like to go out on a date with her. She's as tall as me, which is actually sort of a turn on.

2) Clean my Room. Ugh. My room is a mess. Not a pig sty, just a mess. I wanted to clean it in parts over this weekend but, of course, I didn't. I didn't because I'm lazy and because I enjoy it too much to lay on my bed and think about all the different possibilities of me meeting a girl (usually Ms. Crush) and dating her. I'm going to Montana for a vacation in two weeks and I don't want to come home to a dirty room like I just did when I came back from LA.

So I have until June 30 to clean my room. I also need to get out of this funk asap.

Sinus Hell

I believe I'm finally on the downslide of a 3 day long cold. I started feeling ill on the last day of my vacation in LA, Sunday. The plane ride was an uncomfortable one; being that I was in the middle seat of a red eye flight and not able to get any sleep. I probably just misused the semicolon. Did I just misspell semicolon? Semi-colon?

Monday was hot throat day.
Tuesday was general cold day.
Wednesday was sinus hell, with a large ball of snot just behind my nose. When it wasn't a large ball of solid mass preventing me from beathing out of my nose, it was a faucet of grossness. Thank God for antihistimines. Anit-histimines?

Puppet improv rocks the house.
I was too sick to make it to an audition yesterday.
The vice-president of my day job company envies my vacation to Montana in 2 weeks and 1 day. A day over a fortnight?

Not planning anything to do while in LA actually became a bane. By Friday I was super bored and super hungry but food in LA is super expensive and going anywhere always involves driving and parking, which is super stressful. Trying to find parking for over a half-hour, while dealing with a lack of sleep headache, coupled with the not-needed adrenaline of almost getting into an accident and having some guy try to scare me is not a fun task. That last thing was weird. I was stopped at a light in my sister's neighborhood, which is predominately Mexican, and I hear some guy say "hey white guy" from the car to my left. I play along and response with a "what's up?" The guy in the passenger seat then does this "joke" where he fliched his body and arm down in front of him as if you were about to pull a gun on me. In my headache dazed state, it took me a few second to comprehend what he did. By that time the light changed green and rather respond in any way verbally I just ignored it and proceeded to try to find parking. And because I'm prone to obsessive thinking, I kept thinking about it over and over again and it made me angry. I didn't want to be angry. I wanted to be in bed, comfortable, and hopefully sleeping restfully.

Note to self: find out what type of mattress my sister has and remember to never buy that brand. Also find out what type of mattress my friend Levin has and buy it; the nights I slept on that thing were so restfull. Probably a little better than my own bed/futton.

LA Vacation

I'm going to LA tonight. I'll be there until Sunday night. I'll have 6 full days of California sun, which will be nice. Not because the California sun is nicer than the Chicago sun we've enjoyed over the past two weeks. No, because I won't have to do a God damn thing when I'm in LA. Ahhh, vacation.

I leave for O'Hare right after work, but I have plenty of time to get there since my flight is after 8pm. I've got a rental car reservation, so I won't have to depend on a friend or relative to drive me around the city, or pick me up from the airport. My sister lives in LA and I'll be staying with her for part of the time I'm there. The first couple of days I'll be crashing at my friend Levin's place. I haven't seen Levin since April and I haven't seen my sister since April of last year. I have an aunt and uncle that live there too so it will be nice to see them. I will also try to visit my friends Amanda & Mike, Alexandra, and James.

The LA Improv Festival is happening this week also. It was at first the reason I was going but towards the last second my team was unable to go. I had already booked the flight and since I could use a vacation [haven't had once since Christmas] I decided to go to LA anyway.

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Riding my bike everywhere is so much fun. I've gotten compliments on how nice my bike is [should be for the money I paid for it] and that is nice although it also makes me paranoid in a "yeah? Well, it's mine, you can't have it" way.

This past weekend was a fun one. Rattlesnake had a show Saturday night and it was a really good one. I played only supporting characters but it was super fun and I really felt on top of my game during the show. I participated in the last few minutes of an Ultimate Frisbee game. Everyone there assumed I was this super good player, which is funny. I guess I just looks like a really good frisbee dude.

In other news, I recently weighed myself on a friend's bathroom scale and it said I weighed 148 lbs. I don't know if I believe it even after my friend said it was accurate. If it's true, then I've gained 13 lbs in the last year. This is a good thing, but I think most of it is fat [which I could use more of, I guess]. Now let's see if I can convert that fat into muscle, which would be better.

It's Summer! I should be doing things! [Roll over]

God Damn, Memorial Day weekend was a hot one in Chi-town. My room is a hot box of sweaty pain. What just jumped to the top of the "Stuff Jon Needs to Buy" list? Fans, that's what.

Other things to do:
Clean bathroom. "Hey Jon, did you look at that sink of yours? Dirty city. And that toilet? Vomit-town."
Clean huge pile of hardly ever worn clothes.
Weed out clothes that I don't ever wear and donate them.
Sell old hybrid bike.
Clean room. Start with alcove I never enter. Then work on bed area. Last work on desk area.
Rearrange room so it uses the space better.
Buy an actual bed. Move futon over and use it as a couch.


I should also think about decorating my walls with pictures. Remember that b&w photo of San Fran in the '70s? Maybe actually get around to hanging it would be cool.

But mostly, the best step I can take to ensure that these things gets done is to not sleep all day and instead of dreaming about all the shit I can get done, actually get out of bed and do something. ANYTHING. Taking a shower would be a nice start. Man, I really waste my weekends like no other.

shy

Updates

Finally got my new road bike. It is super awesome. ... except it sometimes likes to shift gears by itself. I will get this fixed.

I got handed a new iO team to coach about 6 weeks ago. They are good. Coaching is fun and challenging. Let's hope I don't mess them up too much.

I got to play in Armando for the second time ever. The first was a week before my last birthday. The second time was this past Monday. Both times it's been because the cast was really low and needed bodies to do improv. I was really nervous the first time. I did a pretty good job. I was less nervous this last time. I did okay.

I'm going to LA in two weeks to participate in the LA Improv Festival with Rattlesnake High School. It will be fun. Perhaps my sister, aunt, and uncle can see me perform in a show. Visiting with them will be great too. My friend James will be there with nothing to do during the daytime so it will be cool to hang with him in LA. Everytime I've gone there and rented a car (2 times) they have given me a free upgrade. I will predict that it will happen again.

I don't get enough sleep.

I may get the chance to direct a sketch show. That would be cool.

I still need to get my headshots duplicated.

Apparently I take really good photos.

Felt opened last Wednesday and it surprised me how well our first show went. We did slow and patience and grounded scenework. They put a promo we shot on the iO website and it is funny. Nathan is adorable.

I did Critical Mass last month at it was mondo fun.

I'm looking forward to this coming three-day weekend.