Activities

My weekends have been pretty busy recently and I've been having a lot of fun. I'm having so much fun that I think it's pushed me into being selfish with my fun time. No more doing of things that I only partially enjoy. I recently started to only partially enjoy doing lights for Armando. So I decided to quit doing lights. I have one last lights duty and then I have my Monday nights free. I'm excited about that. More time to have fun. Or time to organize my life. I've been doing lights for that show since late February of 2003!

When I've told friends that I'm quiting lights for Armando, they tell me that I ought to be playing in the show. While that is nice to hear, I don't really think I'm at that level yet. Honestly. Two days ago I did the Lottery for the first time and my individual performance was not so good. I was hesitant and in my head and definitely not at a veteran level. I'm also not going to hang around iO on Mondays nights in the hopes that I get to play. I'm going to enjoy my Mondays nights for at least this summer. Besides, like most players, I'm hoping that one day Noah will tell me I'm now good enough to play with Armando any time I want.

Another cool aspect of being super busy during the weekends is that when I think about dating some lady it starts to feel like a weight around my neck; an obstacle to having fun with my friends. This is a good place for me to be in. I want to enjoy being free and single.

Three weeks ago a bunch of people that are all on the same message board decided to meet together at this German bar for fun times. It sure was fun times. I can't believe it's only been three weeks since that time. I've done so much stuff that my memories of the time in the German bar seem like they happened 3 months ago.

My last three weeks:
Tues 5/15 - German Bar; too much fun until way too late at night for me.

Wed - Felt and a Skeleton Attack show. Both were great.
Thurs - Atticus Finch reunion show at the Playground for it's 10th anniversary. Hang out with Tony who's leaving for LA
Fri - a writers' meeting on a new sketch project at iO. Afterwards went to see Maria Bamford at the Lakeshore Theater with Manley and Facklis. Bamford is hilarious, I love her.

Sat - Molly's huge birthday/going away party.

skip over 5 boring days to the following Thurs - hang out time with Rattlesnake and one last time with Molly. Pizza and hanging out at Gilley's place of employment eating weird candy.

Fri - kick-ass RHS show.
Sat - early morning helping Molly move stuff into her moving van. Eat lunch afterward and say good-bye to Molly.

Sun - Pennybear (sketch group) rehearsal. This has been more fun than I thought it would be. Skeleton Attack has good show. Later I go to Carol's with the team and friends Thea and The Ferg join me.

Mon - Memorial Day: sleep late and go to BBQ party at Brett's. Play ping pong, Guitar Hero II, and an invented-on-the-spot game dubbed "32" that involves frisbees, 8'x4' sheets of drywall, and box defenders that are literally in boxes. (you had to be there)

skip forward 4 boring days to Fri - I think I saw the movie "Once" (pretty good) and later went to Shott's b-day party at a way too-overcrowded and hot&humid Johnny's bar.
Sat - RHS show (so-so) and later bike down with Thea to the Hideout for a band's album release party but mostly to see Ben Johnson open for the band with some comedy stylings.
Sun - super early morning Penny Bear rehearsal. Followed by noon writers' meeting for iO sketch project at Charna's house. (better than I thought it would be; the meeting, not Charna's house)
This past Mon - Jamie Swise does Armando and his stories are all awesome.

Tonight the Snakes that are still in town (Topaz is in LA for LA Festival) are getting to play with still-in-town members of The Reckoning (just POB as I understand it). Then Saturday there's a welcome-back-to-Chicago BBQ for Erica & Ryan, a RHS show, and then Kilgore Trout (4-person show since people are out of town) has a show in the Cage Match of Fallen Teams.

People Moving

I can't believe I forgot to mention in my last post the actual main reason for my moody moods lately. My good friend Molly is moving to LA. And not just her, but half a dozen other people it seems like. My friends Tony and Mikaela are moving to LA also. In fact, they're probably on the road in Missouri right about now. And I know of two other improvisers moving to LA also. So I guess that's 5 people. Not quite half a dozen but close enough.

Anyway, I'm down because my good friends are moving away. This won't be that dramatic in the short term because I can go weeks without seeing good friends before I notice that it's been awhile since I've seen them. This is what happens to me with friends in Chicago. But with them in LA, I'll get that feeling and then realize that I can just make plans to see them next weekend. I'll probably only see them once a year. This sucks.

But I'm trying to not let it get me down because these changes are all great for the people involved. They are onto bigger and better things and I wish them all success and happiness, which I'm sure they'll get. Plus, I have the memories of hanging out with them to keep me company, and that's not half bad.

Here's a picture of Molly:

Bon voyage Molly!!

Emotions

This past week I've been more emotional that usual. This is not good since I'm acutally pretty good at showing my emotions. So I crossed over from emo pussy to "what's wrong with that dude?" I'm exaggerating. I little.

When I'm meloncholy, I'm actually pretty good at hiding it. Or at least I'm good at hiding how deep my meloncholy goes. The past mont has been a blast and every weekend has been jammed packed with awesome things. I've really enjoyed myself and I've hung out with some amazing people. I'm also making some new friends and I couldn't be more jazzed about it. But with any amount of frivolity comes the after-taste of slight emptiness. At least it did this past week. It's that old friend of mine: Mr. YouWantToBeInLoveDon'tYou.

Mr. YWTBILDY come from my childhood and my childhood expectations about my life. It's the white-bred suburban staple of wanting to get married and have kids and settle down when you're older. Though my brand comes with the "kids? geesh, that's a lot of responsibility, don't you think?" preinstalled. (Sidebar: I actually haven't named this "friend" of mine, I just came up with the name.) As I've gotten older the dream has been whittled down to its core; find someone to love for my whole life and grow old together. Awwwwwwwwww, it's that sweet?

Barf.

Well, this past week that's what I've been dwelling on. But the thing about it is that I only feel that way when I'm home alone and I've got nothing to do. If I think about dating some new lady, I immediately switch over to "I like my free time. Dating someone takes too much energy and time away from me having fun with my friends." So we're talking about wanting things selfishly. So unless I can find a woman that will do whatever activity I want to all the time and hug, kiss, and cuddle with me when I'm home doing nothing, then I've got to get over this meloncholy mood.

Also, a few weeks ago I was watching Iconoclasts on Sundance with Isabella Rossellini and Dean Kamen. Kamen is an inventor who is most known for the Segway. Rossellini is known as one of the most beautiful actresses of our time. Anyway, I needed to know more about this Kamen guy and I went to my trusted friend Wikipedia. My trusted friend also told me that Ms. Rossellini has one child and it's a daughter. I checked it out and found pictures of her daughter, Elettra Wiedemann. An example:


I became instantly smitten and during my high emotions state this week have deluded myself that I might actually have a shot at wooing her should I ever get successful at acting or film direction. It could happen, right? Le sigh.

Oh, the crest of my emotional week was Tuesday night when I stayed inside and watched the series finale of Gilmore Girls. These past two seasons I haven't caught much of the show and I've only been caught up on the show via televisionwithoutpity.com recaps. But I did catch the last two episodes of this last season. I was an super deluxe crybaby during the show. For a good 40 minues of the hour-long show, I was in tears over this silly show being over. Could somebody give me back my dick? I mean, c'mon.

Tonight I think was my last wave of this meloncholy. I spent intermission of Armando on the back stairs looking out into the alley behind iO and trying to feel at peace. I've felt stagnant again lately and I need to change something to shake things loose I feel. I have to jobs that I get paid for and that I had to report my earnings to the goverment about. I'm thinking of quitting both of them.

Organization

I actually cleaned a part of my room this past Saturday. This made me very happy even though I didn't really commit that much time to it. I wanted to start the task immediately when I woke up but I failed to motivate myself to get up before noon. And then I wasted another two hours eating breakfast, dicking around on the Internet, and watching some TV, before I started cleaning.

Once I was doing it, it wasn't that bad. Still, I only lasted about two hours before I "needed a break." I then watched Jodie Foster do a guest role on Kung Fu in the '70s when she was a kid (the Internet is awesome) and then watched some more TV. After that it was time to get ready for my improv show.

I also wanted to keep at it every day - to clean a small portion of my room everyday - so that after a week or so my room would actually be clean. But I didn't feel like it yesterday. Oh well.

I'm feeling the same lack of energy at work. Work is not fun. I procrastinate like crazy and I'm on the Internet way too much. I've got the awful condition of wanting the good life without having to work for it.

Spider Man 3

I went to Evanston to check out Spider Man 3 with my friend Jonny, seen above spacing out. He thought the movie was a mixed bag and I rather enjoyed the movie. I thought they did a good job of developing characters and juggling all the villains although if they had decided to cut the amount of villains down from 3 to 2, it could have been a fantastic movie. Also, Toby Maguire strutting down New York sidewalks was hilarious.

Also at the movie were a bunch of Jonny's friends who I hadn't ever met before and it was cool to meet non-improv people and still be able to be my funny self. I'm patting myself on the back for that.

Sleepy Time at IHOP

Awhile ago it was Marla's birthday. She had the celebration at Ten Cat and that was a fun time. The art of mingling is a tricky thing to get the handle of but I'm getting a little better at it. Or more accurately, I'm getting more comfortable in being in the conversation I'm having at the time. Less looking around for a better conversation.

After we closed Ten Cat, a few of us went to IHOP for some much needed food to help digest the beer we had consumed. We were also tired. It was that odd mix of half tired, half hungry. The kind that where you know you need to eat but you are so tired you grow weary of waiting for the food to arrive but also too hungry to actually fall asleep.

The funniest thing happened though, and I'm sure it's a "you had to be there" kind of thing. Danny here ordered his food and then I asked the waiters (we got 2!, a master and apprentice) why it was so cold in our section. They didn't know why. Then we looked back at Danny because the waiter needed to ask him about what side he wanted (or somethings similar) and Danny was asleep. Just 10 seconds earlier he was awake. One of the waiters leaned in to Danny sheepishly and Danny awoke to all of us looking at him. It was very, very funny.

Roller Derby

The last two weekend I've gone to Cicero for the Windy City Rollers derby action. This picture is from the first weekend I went. It's really cool and I really get into the games. The picture shows the Hell's Belles versus XX (Double Crossers) and it was a really close match. Hell's Belles came from behind to win by one point on the final jam. The other game the first weekend was a blowout by the Furies against the Manic Attackers. But the Attackers have the best player ever, Malice with Chains. She's ridiculously good.

When we went, we had to pick our roller girlfriend for the night. Gilley and I both wanted to pick Gun Show Poe the first weekend. The second weekend I went with Athena DeCrime. Oh, and we had to figure out our roller derby names.

Names:
Ann = Ann O'War
Molly = Maul-y Ringwauld
Me = Excessive Forsythe
Tara = Tara'ble or Tara Ferma
I forget some of the others we came up with.

Ben's Back

My friend Ben is back from his stint on a Norwegian Cruise Line boat with Second City. He was on it for 4 months. He kept a blog about it and it was neat to read it and be able to hear his voice speak the words he wrote.

During the time he was on the boat, not a lot of things have changed in Chicago although I've had a lot of things happen to me. I've been in and out of two relationships during that time span. All three teams that I'm involved with (playing with or coaching) have had a roster change-up. I've gotten new headshots, a new iPod, a digital camera, and a new messenger bag. But overall, I'm still in the exact same situation as I was before Ben left.

March Madness Bracket Fun

It's been awhile since I've updated this blog. I think I'll try to take bite sized attempts at updating what's going on in my life.

March Madness was a neat time although I didn't get to see as many games as I would have liked. I even entered a bracket pool. My alma matter Florida won the whole thing and because I picked them to win the whole thing again, my bracket won the pool. But as far as picking the right teams, many other people did much better than I did. I watched the finals with Strike Force friends and that was nice. Even though Florida was consistently up by at least 8 points throughout the game, it was still a little nerve racking to watch.

RIP Kurt Vonnegut

I'm not the type of person to have personal heroes. I have people that I admire and think very highly of, but to label them a hero just seems so... I don't know... lofty. I've heard that I'm part of a generation that's without any heroes, and I'd generally agree with that. But Kurt Vonnegut? If I were to have any heroes, he'd be the top candidate.

His influence on the world of comedy and sci-fi was huge. As such, his influence on me is definite. I've only read Welcome to the Monkeyhouse - and I've always wanted to read more of his stuff - but that book is one of my all time favorites. So smart. So funny.

A great light in this world has just be snuffed out.

How I Feel

Bye bye, love.
Bye bye, happiness.
Hello, loneliness.
I think I'm a-gonna cry-y.

Bye bye, love.
Bye bye, sweet caress.
Hello, emptiness.
I feel like I could di-ie.
Bye bye, my love, goodby-ye.

There goes my baby
With-a someone new.
She sure looks happy.
I sure am blue.
She was my baby
'Til he stepped in.
Goodbye to romance
That might have been.

Bye bye, love.
Bye bye, happiness.
Hello, loneliness.
I think I'm a-gonna cry-y.

Bye bye, love.
Bye bye, sweet caress.
Hello, emptiness.
I feel like I could di-ie.
Bye bye, my love, goodby-ye.

I'm a-through with romance.
I'm a-through with love.
I'm through with-a countin'
The stars above
And here's reason
That I'm so free:
My lovin' baby
Is a-through with me.

Bye bye, love.
Bye bye, happiness.
Hello, loneliness.
I think I'm a-gonna cry-y.

Bye bye, love.
Bye bye, sweet caress.
Hello, emptiness.
I feel like I could di-ie.
Bye bye, my love, goodby-ye.
Bye bye, my love, goodby-ye.
Bye bye, my love, goodby-ye.

This Past Week

Things that have happened in the last week:

I got a slap on the wrist at work for my Internet usage. At work I leave the browser window open but minimized for most of the day. But this makes it seem that I'm on the Internet all day. So they had me down as using the Internet for 6 hours of my 8-hour work day. That's crazy. My actual usage was probably closer to 2 hours, which is still horribly awful. I've been waiting for this talk from my boss for about 6 months now. I needed the talk.

I also need a job that I care about. (fingers crossed for paid acting gigs)

I had to kick off a member from the team I coach. Said person wasn't as committed to the team as the rest of the team. Said person is a great person and a really good player but missed 6 weeks of rehearsal and during this period the team was made incredible strides in coming into their own. Said person coming back would have felt like a newly added person coming onto the team. So I had said person taken off the team and now we'll have an actual new person added to the team. They have a show this Sunday and this new person will probably be forced to play with the team without ever rehearsing with them, which is actually cool and good. So each group I'm involved with has had a change in roster. Wow.

Rattlesnake had another really great show this past week. Yay us!

I couldn't think of ideas for scenes until just before class on Saturday. I had two germ of ideas and I got to present both of them. Both were drastically changed and improved by Jim. Both went over very well in the show last night. We're supposed to know by Thursday which scenes made it into the show and which did not. I'm curious to find out what our show will look like. Our group came up with a total of x scenes. Scene names: Pot Sedan, Border, Canadian Coyote, Lunch Ladies, Hamburger Pussy, Breakdown, Pot Experiment, Security Guards, Hell Cab, Airport, Trivial Pursuit, Mouth Pussy, Road Trip, Fart Car, Decembermints, Cougar Scouts, 5 out of 9, Secrets, and a few others I can't remember the names of. Our show could look like so many things depending on which scenes are kept. Also, aren't some of the names just awful? I love it.

There was a fire at an apartment a few doors north of us on Sunday morning. A 28-yr old guy was killed in the fire. There's a mini memorial of the guy on the front door of the apartment building. There's a few pictures of the guy, a couple of letters, and some flowers taped to the door frame. It's weird to think that death was so close to our apartment.

My neighborhood was crazy during St. Patrick's Day. Crazier than normal. I take it as a sign that this Cubs season will also be crazier than normal and the Cubs fans, who are already repugnant to me, will become even more of a headache.

More Changes

This week is the week for major cast changes.

In one group, Group A, person Q decided to leave the group because of personal reasons. It is sad that we can't make Q want to stay. Q is a great player and my best friend in Chicago. I adore Q and hope Q plays with us at least once more before Q leaves town. Q's leaving has lit a fire under a lot of the members of Group A to stop talking and get things done. I hope to use the lessons I'm learning from the Jim Carlson class to help spearhead a great project for Group A.

Group A is also looking to add a new member to the group. We've got a few likely candidates but there are larger forces at work that decide who we get.

Another group I'm in, Group One, person Three is being forced out. Three is a great person, we all love Three as a person. I won't go into the details but the decision to kick out Three was a business decision and not a personal decision. This has come as a complete shock to Three and I'm sure Three is deeply hurt. Person Eight broke the news to Three in person and Eight said Three felt like they were stabbed in the back. It really sucks.

The Jim Carlson Class show this past Monday went over okay, but we have yet to get notes since he had to dash out right when our show ended. We are supposed to get notes via email today and I'm looking forward to what he has to say about the scenes we presented to the audience. Our next assignment is to try to cover any theme or issue that hasn't been covered yet. A few themes and issues have plenty of scenes that deals with them already, so we don't need anymore scenes that deal with that stuff.

I'm also noting that my level of focus in doing scripted work isn't as clear as it is when I'm doing improv. I'm a much better actor when I improvise, I think, and I'm trying hard to be a good actor when it comes to scripted work. This class is working two different muscles in me that I haven't worked in some time: sketch writing and acting off a script. If I have any hope in being an employable actor, I need to really work on the scripted acting thing.

This Past Week.

Tonight is the 4th Jim Carlson's Elective Class Show. We won't be doing any of the source scenes tonight. I was almost right about the commentary scenes assignment. Jim wanted to assign us that but I think because too many hands went into the air asking questions about what really is a commentary scene, he changed it to a tangential scene assignment. I went ahead and took a stab at a commentary scene anyways. It went over pretty well in class and I get to try it out in front of an audience this evening, which I'm excited and nervous about at the same time.

Each group is going to show off the scenes we presented in class Saturday. I also get the sense that Jim is changing the format of the show from what he had going into the class. Since some of our scenes that we just pitched are much better than anything we've pitched so far, it just might be that our sources scenes get tossed all together. The carrot dangling in front of us is the prospect of getting a run if we put together a quality show worthy of a run. The problem is that it makes the class have two goals that can be at odds with each other - getting a show together and giving everyone in the class the experience of working on their material. It's hard to explain... so I won't go into further detail.

Rattlesnake had a really great show Friday night. We had six including sit-in Dan Carr and we really brought it that night. Quincy went before us and they had a fabulous show. The audience was also with them right from the start. I was a little worried that we might feel too much pressure to pick up where Quincy left off but we delivered and then some. Our suggestion was Pearl Harbor and we really created a whole world of pre-war American in Hawaii.

My friend Nora was in town this weekend and it was good to see her. I beat her in darts and also got the added benefit of witnessing how crazy her life is at the moment. She got her heart broken in Toronto and then the tables were turned in Chicago when she had to let down this guy named Tony who said he'd fly anywhere in the world for her. So awfully hilarious.

Felt had to cancel a puppet-making project, which sucked, but hopefully soon it will get done.

Picky Eater

I'm a picky eater.

But, I've expanded the things I can eat by a huge amount since I left home after high school graduation. Most of it is stubbornness in not even trying foods that look disgusting or healthy. Also note that I'm a big texture person.

Food list:
Orange - had my first orange at the age of 29 in Montana. Not as bad as I thought it was going to be. Texture is a little odd so I won't race to eat another one soon.
Grapes - first grape at age of 28. The skins are odd and I don't like the texture of the skins. I don't know why I was surprised that the juice inside it tasted like grape flavoring. Maybe I thought the real thing would be different than synthetic flavoring, like they could never match it exactly.
Spinach - first had it in college around the age of 21 or 22. I like it but I can't handle a lot of it in my mouth at once. I'll eat a spinach pizza slice, no problem.
Sushi - this was also in college. I love sushi now. Probably the only way I'll ever eat cucumber ever, if it's in a sushi roll. Upon eating my first sushi roll, I counted that there were 7 new things I hadn't tried yet up to that point: cucumber, fish eggs, seaweed, and eel were among them.
Broccoli - age 29. Was at a Thai restaurant and it was a garnish. On a whim (food whims are very rare for me) I decided to try it. Very crunchy, no taste, more of a workout for the mouth.
Cantelope/Melon - pretty good. Mostly water, with a sweet after taste. Reminds me of watermelon, which I'm cool with.
Bananas - this is an exception in this list, because I first tried it when I was in grade school, but I didn't like them growing up. But now I'm fine with them. I've even ordered them on purpose as a side dish. They are pretty good.

I've tried hummus and I didn't like it at all. The grainy texture was a total turn off. Same thing with grits, which I tried for the first time in college.

I haven't tried a tomato since kindergarten (the texture of it made me throw up) and I've never felt adventurous enough to tackle a strawberry. I have a feeling that pears, peaches, and nectarines will be horrible.

Fruits and Vegetables - my personal food enemy. I'm trying to force myself to try them and like them so that if I ever date another vegetarian, finding a restaurant we both can go to won't be such a difficult task.


PS. I almost forgot about mushrooms. I had mushrooms for the first time in high school and I like them. But just like spinach, I can't handle too many in my mouth at once. Sometimes I'll order the vegetarian sandwich at Pot Belly's, which is just bread, cheese, and mushrooms.

What's New? Nothing Really

I did not win the Mega Millions Illinois lottery. But no one else did too. Last I checked, it was up to 340 million dollars. 40% of that would be 136 million. The web site says you have 30 days until the option to take it in one lump sum expires. After that I guess you are forced to receive the winnings in 26-annual sums. The web site also said they'd take out 51% if you opt for the one lump sum option. I guessing that's not including the taxes the state and the federal government would take out of the winnings.

Anyway, life is still the same. Recently a lot of people have been asking me "what's new?" Other than the iO elective, nothing. I guess my life is boring. Did I mention that I put the wheels in motion to get new headshots? Well I did. I get them taken at the end of this month. My friend Nora is coming into town for the weekend and I'm looking forward to playing her in pool and darts. Just before she left for San Fran, she and I were getting to be hang-out buddies, which I don't have much of.

Tonight is the 3rd show for the iO elective. We do our source scene - Pot Sedan (which hasn't really progressed that much at all since the first time we did it) and then 4 or 5 theme scenes. Jim already said that Border (Camille's) is for sure in as a theme scene. Tonight the reconfiguring of Pot Experiment (mine) goes up and I really hope it makes it as a theme scene. It's much better now. All of the exposition is gone and we really get to the core of what the scene is: two nerds literally experimenting with pot. I get to do some funny space object work, which I love to do. Our other potential theme scenes are Airport (DeWalt's; good), Girls Lunch (Linke's; great), Security Guards (Eric's; so so), Connection (Matt's; not going up because it's too complicated); and Hell Cab (Jen's; good; and yes, we know there was a show with that name).

My prediction is that the four theme scenes of our group will be: Border, Pot Experiment, Girls Lunch, and Hell Cab. My guess is that next Saturday our assignment will be to come up with commentary scenes. I love this elective class.

Feeling Lucky?

I bought a Lotto ticket yesterday. Actually, I bought 5 tickets. I set my alarm clock radio to wake me up in the mornings and so when it goes off, I get a radio station in my ears to wake me up. I have it set to a morning radio show and the topic they were talking about when the radio came on was about the millions of dollars of unclaimed Lotto winnings because people forget to check their tickets. This one guy was at work and heard his co-worker calling these people idiots. He checked the story and saw that the store that sold a winning ticket was one that he went to. He found an old Lotto ticket and sure enough this guy was the winner. He got $100,000.

I also have a habit of eating my cereal at work. I have a couple of cereal boxes at my desk and Silo cups that I use instead of bowls. I went to a corner grocery store near my work and bought a box of Cheerios and some milk. While I was paying for them, I noticed a sign on the register about the current Lotto jackpot up to 216 millions dollars. I took it was a sign that maybe I should buy some Lotto tickets. So I did.

Great story, huh?

What would I do if I won? Well, I figure 60% of it goes to taxes, leaving 86.4 million dollars. What would I do with 86.4 million dollars? I think I'd do the following

1. invest some of it. I hear how some of the crazy rich earn so much money on the interest of their investments that they can live off the interest. I don't know if that's possible with this amount, but I'd consult an accountant to see if I could. It's kind of like wishing for unlimited wishes.
2. Give some to my parents and sister.
3. Travel the world.
4. Quit my job.
5. built myself a nice brownstone to live in. Maybe rehab an existing one and make it "green" to feel better about myself and doing my part for the environment.
6. get Final Cut pro and great film equipment.
7. finance my own independent movie. Cast it with my friends.

Other than that, nothing would change.

Go Bears!

Go Bears!, originally uploaded by ehtysrofnahtanoj.

Testing

Testing

This is a test to see if I managed to figure out how to increase the size of the pictures.

Forced into Change

To continue using this service, I was forced to create a Google account. I don't really like having email accounts I don't use. Back around 1993, when the world was first starting to hear about this interesting thing called the Internet, my parents signed us up with AOL. I've had the same AOL email account since then and I like that my email address hasn't changed.

I hate it when friends change their email accounts. Partly because I know I'll never write the new account down and when I want to get a hold of them my emails will get bounced back to me saying their email address no longer exists. It also seems that people that were changing their servers were doing so all the time. It was a pain and I didn't want to be like them. Also, it gives a since of stability to my life that I really don't have. I like illusions. Since graduating from high school, I've moved around a ton, having never stayed in one spot longer than two years. That's a lot of moving around and address changes. Since high school my parents moved to their home state and so now even the crap home in Florida that I was against all along in calling home is no longer my home. I've lost the sense of Home Sweet Home. So when I visit my parents it doesn't feel like home and I always feel adrift. I've had to adopt the adage that "any place I hang my hat is home."

I don't like having too many credit cards and I sure don't like having email accounts I never use. Just two weeks ago I had to sign up for a Yahoo.com account to use Flickr for pictures and that was a hard decision. Now I have to sign up for a second account I'll never use? C'mon world, stop making me crazy!

Also, I'm having problems figuring out how to make my pictures on my blog appear bigger. There are two blogs that I frequent a lot and both of them have their pictures appear large and I want mine to be that big also but for some reason they aren't as big. Someday I'll figure this out.

~~~~~~

Last night was our first show and it was fun. I wasn't nervous before the show but afterwards I realized I was physically drained from the adrenaline rush, which I haven't experienced in a long time. The show itself when by so fast. Group Alpha when first and they did a good job. Prayer Circle narrowly beat out Hospital for the source scene. My group, Group One, went second and I really had no idea on how our scenes went over. I felt they all went over the same, which was kind of blah, but a couple of them were fun to do. Our source scene is going to be Pot Sedan, which narrowly beat out Jury Lunch. Our task for Saturday is to write a thematic scene off one of the themes of Pot Sedan. After presenting our scenes on Saturday, we will have two days to memorize them as best as we can for our next show Monday. This is such a great experience.

I also got to play live poker for the first time in months and I ended $14 up, which isn't great but at least I wasn't down.

Ambition Difference

During the weekdays, I have lots of plans. Plans for the weekend. Things I'm going to accomplish and things I'm going to implement.

Things:
Get up earlier (around 9am sounds nice).
Do my French lessons
Listen to Podcasts
Do the "ups."
Clean my room
Expand my wardrobe
Get headshots duplicated
Get an agent

During the weekend, however... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

I have gotten some minor things done. I got a new phone. I got a new iPod - now with video capability. I got two new sneakers and 1 pair of moon boots; the boots I got the night before the blizzard and it was worth every penny.

I started the Jim Carlson workshop/elective at iO and it's a blast. We have our first show tonight and we pick our source scene from it. Right now the 7 scenes my group has to choose from are: Family Dinner (meh), Border Car Ride (fun), Poker (fun), Basketball (meh), Block Party (meh), Church Pew (fun), Jury Lunch (so so). The other group has some quality group scenes as well.

_____the pain away

I'm 30 now. My birthday was yesterday and it was spent relaxing, otherwise known as what I normally do on a Sunday.

Friday Rattlesnake had a show and it was a good one. This new opening that we're playing with really frees us up to be creative and inspired. There's so much information created with such great mental images that recalling info to use for a scene is easy for me, which is something I've always had a problem with. I got to do a really great scene with Katy as this '70s couple who were getting ready for bed on a hot and sweaty summer night. Johnny Roast Beef were short people and needed one sit-in. Because it was my birthday weekend, the Snakes chose me to be the one from our team to sit-in with them. After the Dream I was pushed to remain on stage and while we were getting the suggestion for the show it suddenly hit me that I had no idea what type of opening they were going to do. Were they working on something specific? My senses became heightened and I was immediately keyed into what everyone else was doing on stage. I was a great frame of mind to be on stage and it lent itself well. The Roast Beef show was a good one and I had some really fun scenes with them. Particularly a scene with Piero where we were kids at camp talking to eachother from our bunk beds.

I posted my birthday hangout plans on a couple of sites but didn't really make plans to arrive to places with people. As such, both nights the first 30 minutes at my hangout locations were very lonley. I got to the Gingerman Tavern and sat at the bar with my beer waiting for people to show up. I felt like a bar fly and it was uncomfortable. The next night at the Hideout and smooshed myself into the middle of the dance floor and started dancing by myself in the middle of a sea of people. I tried not to be self concious of not knowing anyone around me but I failed. Lucky for me I eventually saw some familiar faces.

Both nights were nice but on the birthday party scale they were rather ho-hum. And to top it all off, on the first night the lady I had been dating put the final nail in the coffin of our dating-thing. I can't call it a relationship or really a breakup since it was so so-so for most of it, but a comment she made finally put to rest what our laziness and lack of seeing eachother in the past 4 weeks was actually saying. What is odd is that night I had a dream where our "breakup" was actually much more dramatic. In the dream there was crying and dramatic emotional reactions.

On Saturday I went to see Children of Men and it was a good movie. Not quite as good as I was hoping but good nonetheless. On my actual birthday I got a couple of birthday calls and a few birthday texts. The calls were from my parents and my friend Ben who is doing a Second City boat tour. The call from the parents was expected and the call from Ben was a pleasant surprise. It made me feel good because that morning I had been in another one of my "infinite melancholy" moods. I've been dealing with turning ever since I turned 29 so I've had a whole year to prepare for it. I took stock of my life and wasn't generally happy with my lack of ambition acting-wise. I was also thinking about how none of my close friends came out to dance with me the previous night. It kind of hurt. So in the morning I was thinking about how I've got no real hangout friends. No real friends that text me crazy like when the Bears win. No real friends that call just to say hi for no real reason. No friends that lean on me when times are tough. Mostly the feeling that I've got no real close friends to lean on when I'm feeling bad. It's borderline depression. I almost wish I could hit rock bottom so that I can start to climb up and rebuild my life and start feeling better about myself. But I don't want to hit rock bottom. I shouldn't have to hit rock bottom to lift myself up.

So my improvement of my life will have to be a slow process. I need to stop sleeping the weekend mornings away. I need to organize my finances. Maybe get my roomie Tim to help me out; adopt his method of being so organized. I need to get in shape. I need to make my room look like an adult lives there; an adult who at least seems like he's got his shit together. Everyone around me seems to be doing so well; creatively, professionally, relationship-wise, mentally, and physically. I hope that come this time next year I'll have made some giant leaps forward with my life. After all, I don't want to become one of those beaten down people whose dreams have been broken. That's not for me. No way sir.

I'm Turning 30!

Want to help celebrate me turing 30? Sure you do.

If you're in town this weekend, please come out.

Deets: Friday, January 26, come out to Gingermen Tavern around 10:30pm. I'll be riding the high after a kick ass Rattlesnake show at 8pm.

Or

Come out with me to get your dance on at the Hideout on Saturday, January 27, at 11:30pm. It goes until 3am, cost $5. It's also a fundraiser for WLUW. Mary Nisi will be co-DJing it. ALSO, her birthday is the same day as mine (January 28) so if you come out you will also get to wish her a happy birthday.

Can you DIG it?

Company Change

The memory stick came yesterday. That was fast. I put it in and on the "fine" setting, I get 950 pictures! 950? Are you kidding me? Damn. On the "superfine" setting, which I guess really makes use of the 8.0 pixel thing, I get 560 pictures. That's still a freakin' ton of pictures. A 2G memory stick sure is huge. And it was only $40.

I played around with the shutter speed setting and took this picture from my window of my apartment. As you can see, the L train tracks are right outside my window.




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I forget if I mentioned, but Molly and I have started our own iO blog on the iO website. In it we talk about what it's like to be an improviser in Chicago, specifically in regards to being an iO performer.

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A month ago we got news at my company that some other company has bought part of what we do here. Basically, half of what we do was bought by them. Our offices in a building just north of our main offices were also bought by this company to start their Chicago branch and will house the portion of our company that the bought. Many departments were affected. About 20 people are going over to this new company to work for them to do basically their same jobs. Another handful of people got severence packages. My department was left unaffected so my job's fine.

Today is the last day for a good portion of the people at work today. After work there will be a going-away party for people.

It's Great - to be - a Flooorida Gator!

The Gator football team stunned everyone including myself by kicking Ohio State's ass in the BCS Championship Bowl game. 41-14! That's crazy. Right before the game I got a text message from my roomie Tara who was talkin' shit. She wanted me to update her about the game since she would be busy with SC stuff. She didn't go to Ohio State but grew up around it. Here are my texts:

7:35 pm - Os td on opening kick off
7:43 pm - Uf td, tied 7-7
8:02 pm - Uf td. 14-7 uf
8:26 pm - Uf int. 8 plays ltr, 1stQ ends. 1st play of 2ndQ, uf td. 21-7
8:29 pm - Os firedup, rolls over ufD. Os td 21-14
8:57 pm - Uf fg! 24-14
9:08 pm - Another uf fg! 27-14
9:14 pm - Os fumble, 3 plays ltr, uf td! 34-14
9:17 pm - Halftime. 34-14
10:20 pm - 3rdQ ends, no scores. Still 34-14
10:40 pm - Uf td, 41-14. Time left: 10:20
10:59 pm - It's over. 41-14. Wow.

At 10:06 pm Tara sent me a text: Holy. This game is insane.

It truly was insane.

-------

This past weekend RHS had a really good show on Friday. Gracer was there to play with us which was great. We had one scene that turned into a group game where Bill sang an "I'm Sorry" song and the rest of us did this really odd dance like thing. It was freaking amazing and I loved being a part of it.

I got to see Levin and Taylor and Bryan too that weekend. Their 25th Century Heros show was neat and probably the most political sketch show I've seen in a long time. Great satire with bears in the place of terrorists. I got to see Sketchcore do a shortened verion of "Deep Inside Your Box" and it was great. The audience loved it and Nina Metz from the Tribune called Sketchcore the "Best Sketch group of the future." Their show was sold out as well and for a minute there I didn't think I'd be able to get a seat but was able to borrow Dunbar's pass.

Sunday was a nice lazy day and I spent it watching NFL football with Levin and Terry.

Best Buy tells me that my memory stick is on it's way to me. I'm supposed to get it tomorrow. I can't wait. Then I'll be able to fool around with my new camera. Yay!

I still have yet to use my Macy's gift card. Apple released at their conference the iPhone and it looks neat but the touchscreen will be the make-or-break thing about it I feel.

New Camera

I got a digital camera. The memory stick that will allow me to take more than 6 pictures is coming in 1 to 2 weeks.

Christmas Vacation

My Christmas vacation was not relaxing enough. I'll try to be brief.

Got driven to O'Hare (nice), got a bon voyage kiss (even nicer), and then sat around waiting for the plane to come (not nice.) Our plane was coming from Minneapolis and was late due to bad weather. About 50 minutes late. So late that I missed my connection. It was also the last flight to my destination and the flight they rebooked me on was for 4:14pm the next day! My mom and dad had to drive down to Minneapolis to pick me up. I was not able to get the one bag I checked in because it was in locked storage and they didn't have the man power to retreive it since they were busy dealing with an already tardy luggage delivery system. It was mayhem at the airport. I got to my mom and dad's place at 2am. (ugh)

The next day we drove to St. Cloud to do last minute Christmas shopping. Or for me, all of my Christmas shopping. It's okay because I've only got to get gifts for 6 people. Then we went to the airport to pick up my luggage. I was afraid they wouldn't have it but they did. (thank God)

The day before Christmas, we drove down to Minneapolis for my mom's side of the family's Christmas get-together. It was at my Grandma and Grandpa's place, which they've had since the '60s I believe. It's super small and we had about 30 people crammed in there, many of them kids. I rarely see my relatives so it was nice to see them. Then we had to drive back to Brainerd and got home around 11pm.

Christmas was the only day I didn't travel around and I was so glad to not have to be in a car. We watched a lot of DVDs. My parents love watching movies. I got a $200 Best Buy gift card (towards a digital camera), $20 gift card for Macy's, white socks, a red sweater, and a billfold that I don't need.

I also learned what are all of the surnames of my great grandparents. Mine are:
Forsythe
Kirberger
Morgan
Showalter
Komro
Kothbower
Lowry
Cook

I traveled back to Chicago the day after Christmas and it was a long day. I had to get up at 6am to go into work with my dad, who was driving me to the airport. My first plane was 40 minutes late and this made me miss my connection. They rebooked me on a plane that left Minneapolis at 3pm, so I had 2 hours to kill at the airport. It turned out to be a longer of a layover since the 3pm flight ended up being late by 30 minutes. I was very worn out when I got back home.

I took the next day's morning off of work so I decided I could play poker late Tuesday night, which I did. I played it way too late and got little sleep. Not surprisingly, I woke up Wednesday feeling sick. By the time 5pm came around, I was full blown sick and feeling awful. Thanks God for Advil. And chicken soup. And green tea.

Skeleton Attack had a killer show in the Caberet space to open for Millies and Carl and the Passions. I was super proud of them. Then I went upstairs to perform in FELT. I was feeling much better by this point (yay green tea and medicine!) and our show was awesome. And it was in front of a full audience, which is always nice.

I'm still feeling ill, but not as bad as yesterday.

Wasserbomben!

The CBC documentary on the u-boat shoot was fun although it was long and tiring. I thought I would have had more downtime so I could listen to music and read the book I brought with me. I got to say a couple of lines, most notibly "wasserbomben!" That means "water bombs!" Meaning depth chargres. The director said he'll probably dub over my voice since I didn't have the German accent down. Se la vie.

Speaking of French, the whole crew spoke it predominately since they were all from Montreal. I got to ask francophile questions, which was nice though. Shaving my beard was almost not necessary but I was in the last shot of the night - moving a crate of limes and lemons down the aisle - so I guess I did need to shave my beard.

The iO holiday party was last night and it was fun but the gift exchange didn't even last an hour, which was surprisingly dissappointing. I got to silly dance later on in the night, which I always enjoy.

Being in the mood to work while at work gets harder and harder each week. Other aspects of my life are going okay. I have been feeling a bit of envy lately when hearing about some people's new projects.

Last Night for Beard

I have to shave my beard tomorrow. This is a picture of my beard. Once I shave it off, I will start the ever so slow process of growing it back. So I guess I am now making a conscious decision to have a beard. Also, a beard really DOES protect my face from the cold. I wouldn't have thought that my crappy and spotty beard would have done that but it does. How about that?

Production Interrupted

We had a big snowstorm in Chicago last Friday. I somehow got a bit of snow stuck underneath the tread of my shoe that hardened into what felt like a small ice ball. It felt like I had a rock in my shoe as I stepped on my left foot. Not painfull at all but highly annoying. It wasn't until I was at work and in a heated place that the ice ball melted and left my shoe back to normal. I mention this because I need to get appropriate winter footwear: boots. Last winter it wasn't a problem at all to walk around in my Sketchers and I'm not really sure what makes this winter different.

I went to a Toys For Tots party at the Piano Man Bar on Saturday night. The mound of toys seemed bigger this year than last year, which is definitely good. I got there a little after midnight I think - after the raffle - and the bar was much less populated than last year. Cesar - who helps run the thing - told me that the place was packed like sardines before the raffle and once the raffle was done, almost everyone left right away.

Saturday was quite productive and Sunday not so much. Saturday I put in my new inner shower curtain since the old was was moldy, did 3 loads of laundry, put a new lamp that I bought together and placed it on my desk, finished some mix CDs I was working on, and played 3 hours of Guitar Hero I. I was doing Quick Play on Hard for most of the song (man it really is hard) and managed to get 3 stars for the most part. Then I went back to the Medium level since I figured it would now be easier for me to get 5 stars on about 6 songs that I've only managed to get 4 stars on. But instead of being easier it was harder because now the medium level feels like it's going too slow and I keep hitting the notes a half second before I'm supposed to. Very aggrivating.

Sunday was spent recovering from a dehydration headache. Those headaches suck. In other news, the Bears clinched their division and UF is headed to the BSC championship bowl game against Ohio St.

Expensive Year

money for:
new computer
new road bike
PlayStation 2 and Guitar Hero
new fancy suit
trip to LA
trip to Montana
Great America water park
trip to Aurora
trip to Brainerd, MN
trip to Milwaukee
iPod
Pitchfork Festival
Lolapalooza
and then the eventual visiting of parents in Brainerd.

Well, I did my part to help out the economy, that's for sure.

Sketchcore's show is done and the last show was a good one. Lots of friends in the audience and they all liked it. Skeleton Attack had a good show last night and that makes me feel good.

I saw Andrew Bird at the Logan Square Auditorium this past Friday and it was good to okay. He doesn't really like to play old stuff which always dismays me. And his new stuff seems to be going in a more rock directions, which also dismays me a little. Almost all the bands I was a huge fan of two years ago seem to be putting out worse and worse stuff. Le sigh.

Turkey Day was okay. I slept in most of the day due to doing karaoke into the few hours of the morning the previous night. Then I had dinner at a friends' apartment and I got my yearly full of turkey. We played Guitar Hero II to my delight and two rounds of Celebrity. Later I got to try out the Nintendo Wii, which is neat and cool but I'm still not sure it's more than just a fad. The controls are so ahead of the times I'm not sure people will like it. Playing boxing on it sure is fun though. Then I went to see Casino Royale. I liked it very much and the more that I think about it the more I like it.

I got my headshot. Now I need to actually get it duplicated and I will have completed a very big checkmark off my list that I created at the beginning of this year.

Quick updates

Sketchcore's last show is tomorrow. We got 5 out of 6 stars in Time Out Chicago!

Rattlesnake has a show tonight. I love these guys.

FELT had a full house this past Wednesday and it was a lot of fun.

Played Candy Land, old school Trivial Pursuit, and Battleship this week. It was nice to remind me of those games.

Armando is great again. This past Monday was solid gold.

Guitar Hero is the tool of the devil. Sleep is overrated.

Next week I'll get my old headshot developed again. Then I can get them duplicated. Unless I decide I just HAVE to get ones in color. (old headshots were shot in black and white so there's no way to colorize them. boo)

I have competing urges to gush and to keep quiet about my private life. That's all I'll say about that.

God Help Me

God help me.

I bought a Guitar Hero Playstation bundle through Best Buy's online store. The bundle includes the Playstation 2 console, the Guitar Hero game (the first one), and a Guitar Hero controller. I'm sure I'll put Guitar Hero II on my Christmas wish list.

This purchase will doom me into becoming a hermit this winter season. It will also eat into my Netflix watching time. And I'm sure I'll put off doing laundry or getting groceries or even eating because I've just GOT TO finish this ONE LAST song. I know it's going to be addictive as hell. I'm just happy that my fingers will start to hurt after long hours of playing it. This will probably ensure that I actually take a break and, you know, resume actually having a life.

I'm also preparing for these songs to invade my dreams at night.

On an unrelated note, I watched The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi on CineMax yesterday. Unfortunately they were the altered versions because Lucas just can't leave well enough alone. Doesn't he realize that once you release a movie to the general public, the movie experience almost becomes public domain. In that the movie we see becomes what the movie is. A movies shouldn't be a canvass that can change. It shouldn't change at all. You cannot change things in a movie 25 years later... even if you are the director. The God damned singing number at Jaba's palace looks so awful next to all the actual Henson creatures around it. It looks like the creators of Men in Black inserted a crappy Pixar creature in the movie. It's too kiddie; too cute, too unrealistic. I hate it. Hate, hate, hate it.

Excuse me while I try to get back to my happy place.

Sitting in and Another Wedding

I'd say I'm 98% healed from my pulled shoulder muscle which is good news.

The warm spell in Chicago is over, which isn't good news.

I sat in for Dunbar in the Sketchcore show and I did all right. I had a little trouble with the Taking Back Rainbows rap before the show started. When I get frustrated that I can't get something I've been working all week on, I start to shut down and get defensive. I tried to combat that while the cast calmed me down and worked through the problem. I had the tendency to go too fast while doing the rap. During the show I did pretty good. I did mess up towards the end, but I covered it up pretty nicely. The show was over before I knew it. Because I did Chocolate Shop, I got to grab Molly's breasts and make out with her, which is hilarious. Being an actor means you can do those sort of things with your friends and it's okay.

Right after the show we took a cab over to Chris and Carrie's wedding. It was in this small club that used to be a restaurant that the city now uses for people to rent out. They had a British Invasion cover band play and they were amazing. They're called the New Invaders and we gave them the best gig ever I feel. I danced up a storm along with a sweat. Then we headed over to Holly and Alex's apartment for an after party. During the coarse of the night, I was witness to many new coupling-up instances. Had this happened two weeks ago, I would have been down about this out of jealousy. But I wasn't. It way, way too early to say anything at all... but I will just say that whatever I have going on, it allowed me to not be jealous, which is good news.

So I've been to 3 weddings this Autumn. I'm glad I have no more in the horizon because I need a break from them.

Election Results Fever!

Holy crap. I can't believe the Democrats actually pulled it off. Both the House and the Senate? Hats off to you guys. You all really made that distaste America has for Bush work in your favor even though most people really don't think you're really all that better than the GOP.

But I'm ecstatic. Finally, after 12 years of conservative Hell, we'll have at least two years of Democratic Purgatory. I'm kidding and I'm not. Am I a democrat? Yes I am. Do I think anything will really change in America? Not really.

Although I could be wrong. I surely didn't see Rumsfeld's resignation coming. At all. The Democrats winning the House wasn't a surprise. The Democrats just eeking out a majority in the Senate, that was surprise on the level of a slap in the face. But Remsfeld stepping down was a surprise on the level of sucker punch... in the balls and the face. "My face! My balls!"

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Promise Keepers is the best improv group out right now. Such great work. I'm so envious. I'm so inspired. Thankfully I get to improvise with two of them on Rattlesnake High School.

Handle With Care

As I slowly approach 30 I'm noticing some changes in my body.

I've finally hit puberty!!!

No. Not really. I kid. What I mean is that I've noticed that my body is breaking down like a product that's past its warranty. People told me that my metabolism would slow down eventually, probably around 30, and I just laughed. "I'm gonna be young forever. It'll be around 40 or 50 that I start to actually age." Silly rabbit, tricks are for kids.

I still have a high metabolism, but I have noticed that it's not as ridiculously high as it usually is. I've gained weight in the last year. Like 15 to 20 pounds which for me is crazy. I'm not too terribly out of shape but I'm still out of shape. I should probably start trying to get in shape before my metabolism slows down even more. Prevention is better than playing keep up I figure.

I should be doing sit-ups. And push-ups. Maybe some pull-ups. All the "-ups." Stretches: yeah, that's a good idea too. Yoga? Let's not get ahead of ourselves. Remember that one time where I tried to start doing yoga? Did that last? No, it didn't me. But using my bike more often and maybe, just maybe easing into some running would be good too. That's probably all I could handle at this point.

This issue was forced into my mind or more accurately, brought into sharpe focus, this past Friday. I had just put my coat and messenger bag on in the morning. I was ready to head to work. Then I raised my right arm up - why, I don't even remember - and left my right shoulder muscle says "oh no you don't" and decides to pull itself out of place. Ouch!

At first I thought maybe all it would take to right itself was a nice stretch to crack the bones. No such luck. I took Advil and went to work but by the time I arrived at the office I was in real pain. I couldn't focus on work it was so bad. I told my boss about it and he let me go home super early. I think I made it until 9:15am before I had to bow out of work.

This past weekend was all about sleep and Advil. I feel better but I'm still not 100% recovered. My lower right side of my neck is still stiff. It feels like all it needs is a good cracking and then all will be better. But I won't attempt to force it to crack for fear of hurting my neck even more. When I rotate my neck in a circle, my neck crackles a lot. I've got more crackling than a camp fire at this point.

What Happened Halloween Weekend

I got to see Sketchcore this past weekend. It was their second show but the first one I got to see. We worked on transistions before we opened the house and one of the transitions we changed works so much better. A reviewer is coming to the show this weekend and I'm excited about that. Mostly because I'm assured that the third show will be the best one.

After that show I had a show at iO. We're doing a more scene-work focused form right now and it was our second show where we implimented it. It didn't go as well as the first time but it was more due to us being rusty at scenes rather than the from itself.

Molly, Paul, Rex, Bill, and I went to the Halloween loft party at Cusick's old apartment. Many people still think of him as the host of it even though he doesn't live there anymore. Paul, Rex, and Bill did a trio group costume. They did Weekend At Bernie's with Rex being Bernie, Paul as Andrew McCarthy, and Bill and Jonathan Silverman. Molly was a girl from the rival band of Jem. I didn't have anything picked out but I did put on my cowboy styled shirt on and just told people I was a gay cowboy. It was pretty hot in there and crowded but two hours into it the place got a little more bearable. I got pretty drunk and as a result had a pretty good time. Let's just say that I wasn't shy at the party.

I've been doing the terrible thing of staying up late (mostly due to watching Freaks and Geeks episodes) and waking up late. I've really seriously debated calling in sick to work almost every morning this week but each day I manage to get myself to work on time.

My Eyes Hurt

Today wasn't too good.

I woke up this morning still tired. I've been so tired for a week now. My body is begging to get 10 hours of sleep at least but I cannot afford the time. Friday was finally a night I could just crash in my bed after work. There were no shows or rehearsals I had to go to. I stayed awake after work on Friday, hanging out on the couch, watching Battlestar Galactica, trying to deny the fact that I had a lack of sleep headache. Once the episode was over - which was A-MA-ZING - I tried to crash in my bed at 9pm.

I just couldn't fall asleep. After a half-hour of failing to fall asleep, I wasted time online until around 11:30 before going to bed. I set my alarm for 8pm. Surely 8 hours would be enough or so I thought. I woke feeling like I needed another 8 hours of sleep.

Saturday I went to Mike and Amanda's wedding in Milwaukee. It was very nice, but the traffic going north on 1-94 was crazy awful. Some people didn't even make it to the ceremony on time because of it. We (James, Marla, and I) barely had enough time to change and get to the church. We walked into the church while the procession down the aisle for the bridesmaids was starting. That night was fun and much dancing was had. I think I went to bed around 3 or so. We set the alarm for 10am. I think I got some nice sleep on that roll-away bed; but I remember having to get up in the middle of the night to pee. Way too much liquid drank. Dranked? Drunk? Whatever.

Fortunately today was a half-day at work for me. I had my TourCo audition at 4:05pm and so I took the afternoon off. Naturally I procrastinated and then scrambled to get things ready. I did the audition and didn't do too well. I hate the set-up of those auditions. I can never get comfortable in those situations. Improvising out of fear or trying too hard to impress always ends up coming out stiff and not fun. And not funny.

I came home feeling pretty down about the audition. Then I came home to find Tara and Amy in the apartment. They were crying. Niles, their cat, was super sick and on his last leg. He was lying down on the couch. The previous night I was watching TV with a blanket over me. Niles sat on me and rested while I rested. He moved over to a different spot on the blanket and I noticed a diarrhea spot. He had softish poo still on his rear section. I called Tara to tell her that I thought Niles was sick again.

Niles was this super awesome cat. Skinny and orange-ish in color. Well behaved and a master jumper. Tara and Amy had gotten Niles long ago from a cat shelter I believe. They knew when they got him that he had kitty leukemia. A month ago it looked like Niles was going to die. He was super lethargic and his normal cheery personality was gone. He was pooing everywhere also. He wasn't eating. I think he hadn't eaten for three days before he started to feel better and wolfed down a ton of cat food. He was back to his normal self. He was jumping on top of the TV or kitchen cabinets. This cat had more than nine lives.

Niles was having difficulty breathing and sometime between my coming home and me getting ready to go do light for Armando, Tara and Amy brought Niles to the hospital and they put him down. It is super sad. All I have to do is imagine Niles in his normal spots around the apartment - top of the couch, top of TV, top of kitchen cabinets, on the floor in the kitchen begging for some milk - and I start to tear up. I don't think I met a better cat. I really liked that guy.

Coming home from a bad audition to that atmosphere in the apartment will make you realize that the audition isn't really that big of a deal. There are so many more important things in life.

Feeling Cool, Feeling Sick

Terry's wedding was last Friday. It was a real fun time but I had to bow out earlier than I thought I would. It also sounds like I missed some fun times at Neo and someone's apartment above a Starbucks.

The snakes decided to meet at the Lion's Pub before the ceremony, since it was practically next door to St. Alphonsus. I arrived a little late since I underestimated how long of a walk it was from my place. I wanted to take my bike but didn't know if that was such a great idea since I was wearing a suit. When I got to the Pub, Molly and Ben were already there. As the ceremony neared, more snakes showed up and it was great to see us all dressed up very nice.

St. Alphonsus is a pretty big church and it was very pretty inside. The altar area had brown carpet which reminded me of my childhood chuch, Church of the Holy Spirit, in Schaumburg. Because it was a Catholic wedding, the ceremony was quite long although not as long as I was expecting. Terry couldn't stop smiling and Paul said he saw Terry's knees buckle when he first got a glimpse of Wendy entering the church in her wedding dress. She looked very pretty. There was even a part of the ceremony that those that wanted to could go a receive communion, which I found odd. But it didn't stop me from going up there to get my wafer. Levin read the first reading and he looked great. Bill arrived late, of course, and looked rather ragged. He later went home to change and when he came back he looked super awesome in a suit. POB was there too and he biked there.

After the ceremony we went to Mickey's for some drinks while we waited for Salvatore's to open for the reception. He caught the Mickey's staff off-guard since they had only just opened and had yet to get ice from the ice machine. I watched the Twins get eliminated from the playoffs. I talked to Krissy, wife of Terry's college roommate Doug. Later at the reception Krissy introduced me to Kristen, wife of Terry's other college roommate, Dave. I was happy to talk to people other than my close knit circle. I was super hungry since I forgot to eat lunch so I had some cheesesticks at Mickey's.

Salvatore's was nice and all of us snakes were at the same table. We were the only table to start the wedding reception tradition of dining our glasses to make the new couple kiss. The best man and maid of honor's speeches were really nice. The food was good and somehow I found myself with three glasses of wine in front of me at once. I hardly sipped them because I was already tipsy and not feeling well. I drank a lot of water. At one point a piece of lettuce went down the wrong pipe and I started coughing. I coughed so hard that I gave myself a big headache, which was a little weird. After dinner we went to the room with the dance floor. We all had to wait for the first songs before we could dance, so the snakes sat down at a couple of the tables just to the side of the dance floor. We all looked super cool in our suits and dresses.

Terry's and Wendy's first dance was nice. Then the bride and the bride's father danced. Then it was the dance for the groom and the groom's mother. After that, the dance floor was open to everyone. The DJ played some great hits and I quickly danced up a sweat. For a good two hours I was fine. Then my stomach started to get gasy from all the wine. It was to the point that I got concerned that I might have to throw up. So I decided to leave the party early and go home to sleep it off. I felt the party at 11pm, by which time many others had left for home too. However, I really wanted to dance and party until the sun came up so it was disappointing that I would be missing some fun memories with the snakes. I took a cab home, took 2 Advil gel-caps, and fell alseep rather easily. I woke up the next morning feeling fine.

I learned later on in the day what I missed. After the crew closed Salvatore's, then went to Neo, some goth dance club. They said it was fun to stand out from all the goth people that were there. After Neo, some went to some party at an apartment that is above Starbucks on Clark and Belmont.

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Saturday was filled with a rehearal that went well, a date that went so-so, a birthday party was that fun, a reunion of sorts that was great, multiple times waiting for the Red Line that was boring, a porch party that was fun, running into girls of the past that were awkward, eating pizza, watching Freaks & Geeks, and falling asleep in my clothes while watching the show in the wee hours of the morning.

My Suit Story

I bought a suit! Yay for me actually doing what I said I was going to do!

I wrote up a story of my journey in buying a suit on the CIN. This is what I posted:

My first choice was to go to Men's Warehouse on State. It was closer to my work downtown than H&M and it closed earlier. My plan was to check it out, then Macy's since it's super close to MW, and then head north on Mich Ave. for H&M. I'd compare and contrast and later that weekend I'd make a decision. I figured I'd like H&M but didn't want something that would fall apart; figured that Macy's would be great but too expensive; figured MW would probably be the best of both world, great customer service and low prices.

Walking to MW I discovered that there's an H&M on State St. "How convenient for me."

MW was a bust. I go in and some lady asks me if I need help. I say I need to get an idea of their selection, look at some styles, and figure out the cost. She takes my jacket size 38 (in her opinion, my height puts me sort of between a regular and a long). She shows me over to a super small section that's got the 38's. Not much to chose from and she leaves me to check it out myself. So much for customer service. I take a few out to look at but I'm confused. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to be looking for really. Still only have a vague idea of the style I want and I'm not sure I can spot a "Mod" style from a non-Mod one. The only one who really took an interest to ask me questions and make sure I was being helped was the female security guard. I wait another 3 minutes trying my best to emote "help me," get fed up and leave the store.

I walk a short walk to H&M on State St. It's smaller than the one on Mich. Their suit selection is minimal to say the least. Regular Fit or Slim fit. I'm slim so I figure I want slim. Not really keen on any of the styles. No one who works at the store even notices I'm there, which isn't surprising since it's H&M. I'm in and out in 5 minutes deflated and worried that finding a suit is going to be harder than I thought. (I have no patience for clothes shopping)

I head to Macy's. I get to the suit section, approach an older man who clearly works there and when he asks, "can I help you?" I offer "I want to buy a suit." Dollar signs sparkle in his eyes and he helps me out greatly. His name is Eric. He helps me try on suit after suit. I told him I was looking for a sort-of Mod style and he immediately knew what styles I was talking about. He led me to the Hugo Boss right away. Man, those suits are hip. Tried on some less expensive ones after I found out their prices. Still wasn't sure I knew what I was doing. Because I'm easy to push over and like to agree with people, I said that the suit I had on was great and that I liked it. It was probably the 11th suit I tried on. Eric got me some pants that fit way snug and his tailor lady to chalk out where to hem the sleaves and pants. The suit I was wearing cost $695; but there was a 20% sale on some of the brands. I got cold feet, gave some lame excuse that MW also showed me a suit that I liked, and told him I wanted to think about it. The gleam in his eye died when he saw the sale go away. I offered the only thing I could think of to compensate him for his help: a compliment. He also tells me that I have a limited time to get the suit. Why? Because I said I had a wedding to go to this Friday and it takes them a week to do the alterations. So if I delay longer than say a day, I won't have the suit in time. Good to know. Definately the best customer service I've ever had. I felt really taken care of there. Not quite the level of service Larry Miller give Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman, but close enough.

Over the weekend I check online for pictures of Mod suits and check in on this thread to see what people say. On Sunday I see The Science Of Sleep (good, not great; needed it to be way more grounded) and Gael Garcia Bernal's character where this nice mauve colored 4-buttoned suit. It strikes me as very Beatles-ish. I think maybe I need a 4-button suit. I ask you all and you give me your opinions.

I think I might go back to Macy's and try again, this time feeling more confident about what I want. But I'm relucant because it's expensive there. Based on Stacey and Bob's recommendations, I decide to check out H&M one more time. This time I'll go to the bigger store on Mich. I'm not in the mood to shop since I'm feeling sick, but I force myself to go to the store after work.

Much better selection at the larger H&M store. Once again they have it divided into Regular and Slim cut suits. I notice though that all the Slim cut suits have only two buttons on them. "That's not what I want," I say to myself. Then I check out regular cut and they have 3-buttons. "That's more like it." No 4-button suits, but that's okay. Speaking of "okay," I checked out Ok Go's video of the dudes doing the dance on some sort of patio. The tall dude is wearing a nice suit. I freeze framed it many times to check out the suit he's wearing. It's not a 4-button and it has a slit in the back of the jacket placed right on the butt. I figure that's the kind I want. I'm such a push-over and easily infuenced by the media.

I try on a nice 30R Regular cut suit. It's black with very faint lines on it. It fits like a dream and it's not too big in the shoulders. The pants were too tight, but because H&M is fine with mix and matching, I steal a size 34 pants off of a 40L suit. I also buy a fancy new tie and belt. I looked like a rock star in my new outfit and felt totally "Mod." It all cost less than $400 and I got a nice suit carrier thingy for free (free with purchase of a suit).

Roomies Tim and Tara thought it was kick ass when I showed it to them when I got home. I don't have a camera, but I'm sure I'll be able to show everyone pictures of me in the suit after I go to the wedding on Friday.

End of post.

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Other news? I'm too busy to date. Or they girls I meet just aren't what I'm looking for so I don't make time for them. Went on one date on Sunday. It was okay. No spark. Shortest date I've been on I think. Meaning we met up to see a movie and after the movie we parted ways; mostly of my chosing. I'm messaging some other girl but all of the sudden this process of meeting people online has become EXHAUSTING. I'm also so busy with rehearsals and improv in general that I have almost no time to fit in a date. And then when I do find time to fit in a date, my first thought is usually, "man, I could really have used that time to have cleaned my room or work on myself a little more. Maybe I should not date and focus on myself more."

Finallys

I started a post on the date above and saved it as a draft. Then I didn't touch this thing until late September. I came back and erased what I had saved in that draft and instead wrote what you see in this post. So this did not happen in July, but the date should be September 29, 2006. But I don't know how to change that or if I even can.
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September 29, 2006

I cleaned my bathroom last week. It was a chore but I did it. I was hoping it would have propelled me into cleaning my room but that hasn't happened yet.

I did finally send my Netflix DVDs back in the mail. They've been sitting around since June, I believe.

I finally deposited a check a friend of mine wrote for me... back in April. I finally sent Amanda and Mike my wedding invitation response postcard. It will probably get to them on the deadline for the RSVPs. I put my Cingular bill check in the mail today. So that bill will be paid on time for the first time in probably a year. I'm late fees McGee.

I have a habit of not going to the grocery store for things I need and instead going to restaurants for food. Yesterday I went to Jewel finally. There is something I love about it, you'd think I'd do it all the time. What I love to do is to show up listening to kick ass songs on my iPod while I power grocery shop. I walk with purpose from aisle to aisle as I pick up things on my mental grocery list. I casually people watch but I'm watching them from behind a glass wall while Belle & Sebastian dances in my ear.

Then I stand in line for the self check out express registers. I'm a pro at these things. I scan my things on the first try. I bag my stuff like an expert bagger. I swipe my debit card and enter my PIN and within seconds I've got my extra cash and receipt in hand. Then like a tiger after a gazelle I'm out of that crowded Lakeview meat market. I feel so adult. So mature. I've got groceries. Yeah, I'll make my own dinner. Sure, it's just a PB and honey sandwich or a bowl of cereal, but God dammit, I made it. I love it.

On the other side, I have been checking out the Onion personals A LOT more than usual. Way too much. I put new pictures of myself all over it (same with Friendster and MySpace) and I'm obsessed with seeing if these pictures create more interest in me with the ladies. There have been more hits but so far the 1 "letter" I sent a lady who viewed my profile has yet to be replied to. Ah well. Of note is that "Lost Cause" by Beck is playing right now. How fitting. My latest fanasty is to have some non-improviser lady approach me and tell me she thinks I'm funny after seeing a show of mine. Then we hit it off and start dating. The fantasies never include me being the one to approach them. I should probably start to incorporate that into them. Or, better yet, stop the daydreaming and actually be proactive and when I'm talking to a girl I like actually vocalize it. I'm such a socially inept dude.

I successfully went through August without having any alcohol. The first couple of weeks of September I hardly had any beers. I think the first alcoholic drink I had this month was wine. Yes, that's right, during my friend's birthday fun time in the suburbs. Man that was a lot of fun.

I've fallen into growing a beard. It started out of laziness. Then I was going to visit my parents. I wanted them to see me with some facial hair so i didn't shave. By the time I got back I just felt like trying to see how growing a beard goes. But this time, actually giving it time to grow. Instead of getting sick of it after two weeks and shaving it off. "Wild Horses" by the Stones is playing right now. How appropriate.

I was looking at some lady's profile off of Friendster and there's this one photo of her in a car with the sunlight hitting her hair in this certain way that kind of highlights the hair from the back, giving it a kind of bright outline if you will. The lady is of no importance, because she's taken, but the reason I'm mentioning this light effect is because it is so beautiful. In fact, ladies' hairdos in general fascinate me. When I'm riding the L, sitting down and a lady happens to be seated in front of me, I usually find myself in focused study of the back of her hairdo. I like the way the hairs are either combed or pinned or tossled. Show me a picture of a girl with her face partially blocked in a sexy way by her hair and I'm in heaven. Last year when I was in those couple of relationships, what I particularly loved about cuddling was being able to run my hands through their hair. It's soothing.

I just realized that it's just like petting a cat that's on your lap. Hmmmm. I don't know what that says about me or if it's a good realization or not. Perhaps it just means I'm a cat person. Or maybe just the general sensation of hair through my fingers is pleasing. Like Amelie with her love of putting her hands into a pile of stones. "Corcovado (Quiet Night of Quiet Star)" by Astrud Gilberto is playing right now. How lovely.

I'm directing Sketchcore in their next sketch show, which goes up in about three weeks. It's a lot of work with even more work to do in the coming weeks. It's challenging and fun at the same time. Although I feel like I've been in a personal improv funk in the past month or so, I've had two separate occasions where people have said they wanted to do a side project with me and that's great. I'll have time to do so come November. Coaching Skeleton Attack is a joy and I'm really proud of how good they all are. Great scenework's happening in rehearsals.

Not this weekend but next weekend I'll be at a wedding for a teammate and I want to buy a kick ass suit. Something that evokes the slick and cool style of London, like something from Trainspotting. My partner in crime at work has moved over to a different job within the company, which is great for him but lonely for me. I get a new partner tomorrow and I'm dreading it. Work load-wise it will be great, but I'm expecting this new dude to not fit at all and leave soon after. I'm hoping for the best but I wont' hold my breath.

This past month has been baby steps for me in getting my act together. That's nice. Finally.

What? No Improv This Weekend?

The team I coach has moved their rehearsals from Sunday to Tuesday. And neither of the team I'm on has a show this weekend. This means I have no improv obligations.

So I'll have time to clean my room, right? Probably but knowing myself I still won't get anything done.

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Last night I was talking to friends about blogging in general. We agreed that blogging is about the most self-absorbed things a person can do. It's all Me, Me, Me, all of the time. The blogs that I like to read, which are very few, are usually of people I know. That and they have a certain point of view or theme or gimmick that makes me continue to keep on reading. Example: A Year of Pictures After the Breakup, the blog I mentioned earlier. My friend ladym also has a blog that documents her life post break-up. My best friend Matt kept 2 blogs once; the first post break-up and the second a travel blog of his adventures in Europe. My friend Sarah kept a travel blog when she went to China. There are probably another dozen or two of improvisers that keep a blog.

For me, I love the ones that I brutally honest. The kind that make me question whether I should be reading this because it is almost too vulnerable. I admire the courage to be that honest in the blogosphere. I almost wish I could be that honest. But I can't be as open as I wish to. I guess it's egotistical but a lot of the time I feel like I'm being watched. Not like I'm being watched by the government, but like I feel like I always have some sort of audience.

I like gossiping... a lot. Check that. I like hearing gossip. I'm a pretty good keeper of secrets and for the most part, especially when I know something was told to me in confidence, I don't spread gossip around. But I'm usually the last to hear anything. People dont' seem to view me as their sound board or go-to person for personal shit. That's great because I'm not a constant dumping ground, but at that same time it makes it seem like I live in a vaccuum.

I would say that currently it does feel at times like all my close friends have moved away. Or that my friends that I felt comfortable being really honest to have become too busy for conversations. So I do feel like my life is lacking real connections. I want to connect with people but you can't force it. And this is just aggravated by how slow I am to make new friends.

But I still feel the need to unload all of these things waying on my mind. I could dump it into this blog. But it would be like tossing coins into a wishing fountain. I need another human being to connect with. Which really fuels my desire to find a love with whom I can be completely honest. This makes me long for which I do not have and then I start getting sad about the things I don't have instead of relishing the things that I do have. Thus the seemingly never-ending cycle of infinite melancholy.

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I used my new air pump on my bike yesterday. It was fun to do in a total cheese ball way. My pump has an air pressure gauge on it. My road bike tires need to be between 115 and 125 psi. At about 100psi is when it gets really difficult to pump any more air into the tire. Man do I need to get stronger. I should start doing sit-ups and push-ups since they are easy to do in that I can do them anywhere any they wouldn't take up too much of my free time. Maybe later I can then add pull-ups to complete the "-Ups" family.

I bought a Sunday pass for the upcoming Pitchfork Festival. I'm looking forward to it. Then a week or so after that is Lallapalooza [spelling is probably wrong]. Yay outdoor music fests!

My parents want to fly my sister out to Brainerd so that she can visit them. I think it's been something like 2 or 3 years since they have seen each other face to face. Mostly due to my sister being too poor to travel and my parents reluctance to ever visit their children in the towns they live in. In the 6 years since I've moved to Chicago, I believe they have visited me only twice. They want me to come up to Brainerd the weekend they fly my sister in. But they haven't picked a weekend yet. I hope they pick Labor Day weekend. My mom's birthday is right around that weekend and I found out that it would only cost me $100 to travel via Amtrak. I haven't traveled by train in 12 years and I miss it.

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Out of the conversation about blogs, I let out the existance of this blog. I can't wait [sarcasm alarm] for when a friend mentions something that I wrote in here, which I'm sure will kind of weird me out a little. I wonder if I ever weirded ladym out when bringing up any of the things she talks about. Now that I know that she reads it, I'll find out the answer soon enough.

Montana

Montana was great. Even during the not-so-great moments, it was a great trip.

I was supposed to have all my packing down by the time I went to bed Thursday night. At 11:30 at night, I quickly threw together some stuff that I thought I'd need, having procrastinated for the entire night. I biked to work because I wanted to have the option of doing Critical Mass before I left for Montana. However, upon seeing the limited luggage space our "van" had, I knew Critical Mass was out of the question and that I needed to buy a duffel bag and repack my stuff.

A Chrysler Pacifica is not really a van as you would think it. Imagine a van and a station wagon had sex. Their baby would be a Chrysler Pacifica. Instead of a sliding door, it had the car-like four doors. The trunk space? Almost non-existant. There was barely enough room for two large sized suitcases. Ben said it best: we need to pack light.

Keywords from the Trip and Brief Explanations as Need Be

the lifetime(s) of Larry ("that's me") of Judith Gap, Montana
- on our way back to Chicago, we stopped at this nice place that was half dinner and half gift shop/convience store. We sat at the dinner counter and this guy to our left who was about 60-something years old took about a minute or so after we sat down to chat us up. He was a talkative fellow and by the time we left to get back on the highway, we basically knew his life story. Great lines from Larry: "I broke my back," "I get high everyday," "when I was 40 years old I found out I was half Mexican," "my first boss was my birth father," "Republicans are horrible," "I knew Jimmy Hendrix and he just free styled the Star Spangled Banner," "you gotta stop by and visit Judith Gap."

"Something's wrong with Bryan's eyes" and Apul's lips
- two of the guys of the Jungle and Ben from the Snakes didn't respond well to the outdoors on this trip. Ben got a huge headcold that kept him indoors most of the time. Bryan had some sort of bad alergic reaction to the first day's hike; his eyes became very red. Apul's lips swelled up for some reason and then two days later he had these puffy regions under his eyes swell up as well. He looked awful. Poor guys.

Yoga on the front porch
Hunting beaver
Foam keg
Levin's trophies
Old diet pepsi cans
Feeding horses
"I know you from the internet"
- this is a quote from Rex to Annie, referring probably seeing her comments posted all over Levin's myspace page.
Rex the speed racer
Wet pizza
- we brought two pizzas from Chicago to the ranch so that Levin's dad, Harrison, could experience Chicago style pizza. The method of keeping them cool with improvised since they wouldn't fit in a cooler. Suffice to say that the pizzas were pretty wet by the time we arrived in Montana 24 hours later.
Baserunning
- the Great Falls White Sox have a problem when it come to base running. So Bad. But it provided a great bit of yelling out "stay" any time they were running.
Red beer
Tiny casinos
Harrison O'Connor's acting debut in a short film
stock footage
Katy's run away attempts
meowing elks
The three sisters and LeRoy.
dead baby deer.
Bloodlust.
Making Barbeque sauce.
Flattened snake carcasses.
L.A. people's busted van window.
- Annie backed up the van into a pole with a box on it. The left rear door was super dented in and the window was shattered. They drove around with a bag taped over it... except on the day they needed it, the 4th of July. Which made everyone inside it covered in a nice layer of dust.
The Harrison O'Connor bow and arrow challenge.
Fluffing sheets for 15-30 minutes.
Suspenders and jeans.
Riding a bike to the Malt Shop.
"I believe."
Good thoughts about America.
Meat pusher.
The burning bush.
Molly went home with the Jungle.
No fighting
LA people are cool
Bertrando
Ben's new drinking game "Pig 2"
Songs: "No Fajjots on the 4th of July" "Ballad of Oscar" "$100 on 1776"
Mashups
Pie
Pork
224 Buffalo Tamales
Ben is a bird guy. He killed two with the van
The sounds of penguins
Sacks and druks and rock n roll song
Trucker Speed
Great Falls bar with mechanical bull
Real bulls, crying. "My penis!"
yelling out "my penis" while a small child was present
elk herd
Perfect weather for a hike up a mountain
soggy feet
Where are your family at around the Midwest talk with LeRoy
Barely any sleep on trip back
Settlers of Catan
James and his 4th of July 3-D glasses
great fireworks display
new friends Annie, Rachel, Apul, James, Bryan, and Bertrando.
Lynn and her Tibetian prayer flags
"you almost killed a kid number 24. How do you feel about that?"
"You got patriot hymmed"

and many other things I'm forgetting.